Chrissy Teigen shared a poignant note about her son Jack – who she lost last year in mid-pregnancy – when her due date approached.
Sharing photos from the set of her husband John Legend’s music video for “Wild” – which served as a pregnancy announcement – Teigen, 35, reflected on the dark period of her life.
“He would be here anytime – if he were like Luna and Miles, I would probably be holding him while we talk,” she wrote, referring to the couple’s 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t look at his face when he was born,” she wrote. “I was so afraid to see him in my nightmares that I forgot to see him in my dreams. I suffer every day with this remorse. “
Teigen and Legend lost baby Jack in late September, after she was hospitalized with pregnancy complications. At the time, she shared a moving image of the couple holding the baby in the hospital.
Teigen, who has since sobered up and started therapy after the loss of her pregnancy, also said that she thought she had been through the “worst” of pain.
“This month is a difficult reminder and, to be honest, I thought the worst was over, but I think life and emotions are not on any kind of schedule,” she shared.
She ended her note with a direct message to her Jack.
“I love you jack,” she wrote. “I miss you so much.”