Reacting and exaggerating everything that happened in the Sunday afternoon games of Week 16 …
Things that made me dizzy
Seahawks conquer the west the old fashioned way: How far we’ve come from the “Let Russ Cook” days – we’re back in defense (and a little help from Jared Goff’s atrocious game), Russell Wilson’s timely creation and a conservative overview of life. The position on the goal line of the third quarter will be one that they will talk about in the NFC West VHS championship.
Ben Roethlisberger, as a young Ponce De LeOn: That is The material. With 24-7 in the second half, the Steelers started attacking the field and Roethlisberger even –Sigh!– got some hits in the process. The result was 342 passing yards (the maximum he has had since week 16 of the 2018 season) and three touchdowns in a return win to win AFC North.
Diontae Johnson Redemption: You know about the falls, and he left a touchdown on the field when he misread on a downfield route against the Colts. But that connection belongs to the Louvre …
Bosses live on the edge because … do they feel like it ?: For 58 minutes it was an absolute fight against an inferior opponent in a game that they had no right to win. Then, repeatedly in the final attack (except for the almost intercept that AJ Terrell dropped), Mahomes had all the time in the world and several weapons running around discovered in the field. Sunday was the ugliest victory they had in the Mahomes era, but the common thread is: whenever it’s time to call, the Chiefs call.
Those Andy Dalton Cowboys can’t be stopped: According to Mike McCarthy’s analytics department, Dallas has 108 (one hundred and eight) points during a three-game winning streak.
Cowboys vs. Receivers Eagles Databases: It was the biggest incompatibility we’ve seen since, well, probably Saleh vs. Kingsbury on Saturday.
Dominant Chase Young Again: After a strip-sack in the third quarter (in fact, the second of the day, although the first was incorrectly considered an interception, statistically), the man Ian Eagle observed, “Chase Young, defending the Rookie Defensive of the year.” Which is more or less like saying “Gheorghe Muresan, defending the tallest man in the room”.
Porters find a way to win a game they topped by 13 points in the fourth quarter: It’s a three-game winning streak for Anthony Lynn’s guys, which should be enough to save his job.
A winning streak of the jets !: And his 335 attack yards was the second highest total of the season. They are stuck in choice number 2, have a second choice in the first round and a total of five choices in the top 100 of the April draft, and bring the guy who should be the nerve center of their defense (CJ Mosley) back.
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Regrets
Why did they set up that week 18 again ?: The league office that forms another team gets ready in less than 48 hours after losing an entire unit to the COVID protocols shows a total lack of understanding of how an NFL team works.
Colts fails to close it in the attack: After taking a 24-7 lead, they launched three stabs – including two of three and three – intercepted and achieved a total of the first two descents on four drives. The attack closes the games in 2020, and Indy had none of that in the second half in Pittsburgh.
Explain yourself, Jared Goff:
Dwayne Haskins is an absolute mess: The new coaching staff did him no favors, but wow, Sunday was as ugly as possible. Six points, three turnovers and Taylor Heinicke overcame him in relief. The football team still wins the division with a win in Philadelphia next week.
Younghoe Koo pushes: He had a year at the Pro Bowl in Atlanta, hitting 35 of 36 on Sunday, before pushing the potential 39 right-wing equalizer kick. It was a mark end to the defeat in Kansas City.
Things get complicated for Jalen Hurts: The Eagles were not meant for sustained attack and the Cowboys kept everything ahead after a long first quarter touchdown for DeSean Jackson. Philly only managed one field goal in the last 50 minutes of the game, with Hurts adding two turnovers in the red zone of Wentz-ian (an ugly interception, a questionable fumble in a race).
Steelers desperate struggle to get a yard: That’s why they hit a quarter to one in midfield when a conversion would seal the victory.
This Trubisky interception: That, in the first and in the goal, is perhaps the worst quarterback move of the post-merger era.
Even Brandon Allen is taking this Texans’ defense seriously: Without wanting to offend Brandon Allen, well, I wouldn’t blame him if he took some offense to that statement – but Allen shot 371 yards and reached 37 points in Houston (his highs in six previous career starts were 240 and 24).
Brandon McManus’ new approach to Double-Doink: On his return to the field, the Broncos’ kicker doubled the right-hand left of 42, had another chance five yards closer due to an offside penalty, and promptly doubled the left again.
Nsimba Webster’s ball safety: The Rams had one of the worst special teams in the league this season (haunted by the ghost of Bones Fassel!), And Webster, who returns punts, only avoided losing a disastrous disaster in a third quarter punt. It would have been his second big move in the month; he is tending towards a territory of fair capture.
Annex B in the case of Abolish the draft:
What legal franchise Jaguars are: There is nothing like playing a game in the midst of a violent pandemic involving a team with no interest in competing because the NFL has built a system that offers disproportionate rewards for gross incompetence. What is the goal of sending them to Indianapolis next week? Anyway, have fun playing for your new team, Trevor Lawrence.
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Moments that we will tell our grandchildren about
Receiver-to-Slot Receiver TD slot: Bill Belichick’s heart grew three times that day.
“Thinning” the draw frame: Sometimes, you just need to laugh at yourself. Or someone else. Like whoever threw this flag.
DeSean Jackson getting behind the defense: Ahhhh, it takes me back …
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What we’ll talk about this week
NFC East Death Match !: The Eagles were eliminated, and the remaining teams (Cowboys, Giants and Football Team) play a game of three on a cubic field to decide who will represent the saddest division of football in the postseason.
Bears control their destiny – and, in a way, the fate of us all: Wait, no, just the first part. Mitchell Trubisky is pretty much the same guy, but they’ve built a more friendly attack on QB and are relying on him to do things like, say, throw the ball past the scrimmage line on the third and sixth. Long-term marriage will work, but Trubisky will be a good backup / development project for an intelligent coach. And if the defense turns upside down in January, who knows what might happen in the tournament.
The sheep have their backs against the wall: If the Bears beat Green Bay in what could be a meaningless week 17 game for the Packers, the Rams-Cardinals loser would go home. The Rams have no one to blame but themselves – well, more specifically …
What to do with Jared Goff ?: A long-term issue, as they won’t be able to make changes to the staff or the system right now, but it has been brutal in the second half of the season. We’ve seen him do that in the past – as recently as his return to Buffalo in Week 3, and he was great last season. But Rams’ attack has no lower field element, and Goff’s decision making is progressively getting worse, especially towards the end of the season. As we move through January, your game couldn’t be more discouraging.
Dolphins win again on Sunday: In the form of the Texans’ defeat to Bengals, which now has Miami holding the third overall choice of the April draft. Which begs the question: they should take another quarterb – it doesn’t matter, we’ll talk about that later.
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