In the memories of Priyanka Chopra Jonas Unfinished, the actor stops in several instances to try to explain habits, terms and instances peculiar to India. At one point, mentioning that she would stay in the United States with her Maasi, she writes: “In India, taking care of each other’s children as if they were ours is only part of who we are. It is seen as a duty and a responsibility, not an imposition. ”This over-explanatory approach bordering on reduction continues to repeat itself until it is revealed: its story is for everyone, but aimed at a global mainstream audience.
This awareness regulates the narrative diet, resulting in a painfully simplistic memoir of an extraordinary life, an easy primer for the creation of myths by Priyanka Chopra. As I read it, I kept thinking about the distinct genre that Netflix created and promoted with admirable consistency: documentary with reality shows. Much like the memoir, these programs have an all-Indian cast and obliterate the complexities of a country or individuals to fit an existing mold. The last addition to the Netflix list is The big day.
Just last year, the streaming giant – accessible in 190 countries – made room for regressive Indian Matchmaking and unsatisfactory Fabulous lives of Bollywood wives. Both programs, in addition to sharing their absolute optimism about India’s GDP, are linked by treating the country and its people without nuances and contradictions. And while the cachet in Fabulous Lives… annuls this criticism to a certain extent, the very lack of it in Indian Matchmaking reduces you to a fallacious attempt. Each beat of this is repeated in The big day where the homemade concept of arranged marriage takes the form of the big fat Indian wedding.
Much like its predecessor, The big day it is linked to portraying a practice, whose perspective in a country like India, by definition, is diverse, unpleasant, moving, questionable and hateful. At the show (produced by Condé Nast India), preparations for an impending wedding are documented following engaged couples days before the ‘big day’. Spread over three episodes – believed to be the first batch of the franchise – it features six marriages marked by opulence and blinding myopia. These are elaborate events that consist of special appearances by choreographers and Bollywood actors and provide distorted and limited portraits of Indian marriages, without any mention or discussion of the main opponents: caste and class.
But that does not mean that they avoid symbolism. For example, there is an interfaith marriage in the third episode (Gayatri Singh, daughter of journalist Seema Mustafa with poker commentator Aditya Wadhwani), but the fact that this disparity is – and can be – is leveled by financial affinity nowhere is addressed, except for an ambiguous phrase: “She fits in our family”.
The central idea of The big day it is based on the emergence of modern Indian couples who do not hesitate to take control of their marriage. And in many cases, the various non-resident Indians, as well as those who live outside the country, seek to undo the patriarchal connotations opened in vows and wedding rituals by doing things in their own way. More than one couple ends up with Kanyadan, wanting to make their marriages personal and equal. But that is completely undone with the inclusion of wedding planners and, by extension, orchestrating and corporatizing your wedding. The staff is professional. Likewise, for all the lectures and awareness about sustainability, couples bring their guests from different parts of the world.
But the series’ biggest disservice is the way it disparages women who choose to do things their way, beating them in a separate episode and baptizing them as’ Type A Bride ‘, as a slander. Their involvement is seen as control, their opinion considered an affirmation. This inadvertently ends up illustrating the lost battle in which women are having to participate in an institution that, by definition, is inconvenient for them. The passage of time and privilege may have allowed them to stop being silent spectators at their weddings, but it also established unbalanced participation as the only proof of presence. All brides on the program constantly reconcile work with wedding preparations while men – protected from any labor – sit on the sidelines.
One of the grooms says with abject coldness that he is a guest at his own wedding. “I did not contribute in any way to the design and decoration.” The only time this work is not emphasized is in the same-sex marriage of two men (Tyrone Braganza and Daniel Bauer), who also shun any conversation about their privilege to benefit such a ‘celebration’ in the country.
The big day so – very similar Indian Matchmaking – uses India as a backdrop, pointing the camera at the places they want to see and be seen. He feeds stereotypes without caring enough to examine the discrepancies. And, in doing so, he defends the idea of marriage being a great leveler, when in fact it is a storehouse of prejudices.
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