M Day is just two weeks away! The suspense is unbearable.
If you are a devotee of the novel Meghan and Harry, of course.
On March 7, the American television network CBS will broadcast the Duchess of Sussex’s thoughts, as told to Oprah Winfrey.
Until Meghan’s Day, we are being subjected to a frenzy of media speculation, calculated leaks and false news.
Another chapter in the everyday history of the real people.
The Duchess, obsessed with privacy and eager for publicity, starts speaking first, before Dook (as the Americans call him) is allowed on the studio couch.
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The show will be rehearsed with more rigor than a play at the Royal Shakespeare. What could go wrong?
Well, almost everything. Ask the Duke of York, who thought he pretended to be a blind man talking to Emily Maitlis.
Ask Harry’s father, Prince Charles, who revealed his marital infidelity to Jonathan Dimbleby.
They think they are smarter than interviewers – until they open the next day’s papers and read the forensic survey on their performance.
Then the proverbial hits the fan, with unfortunate consequences that never end.
The footage is shown repeatedly, for excruciating embarrassment.
Buckingham Palace must fear that TV history will repeat itself with the spectacular M&H.
Only Princess Diana was right.
(Image: Getty Images)
She correctly calculated the consequences for the media of her “three people in this marriage” interview with Martin Bashir.
This generated public sympathy for her.
At least Charles and Andrew had the family to go back to.
Harry cut himself off from that comforting haven.
Meghan and her drunk love duke will have only the unforgiving commercial world of American cinema and television for the rest of their lives together.
I doubt that there is a happy ending to this fairy tale romance, and Mrs. Winfrey can only rush you.
Get rid of that stupid bureaucracy
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If an Englishman’s home is his castle, his shed is his private retreat. It is where he can disconnect from the hectic and futile world and do nothing about nothing.
And nowhere more so than in traditional mining communities, where building sheds is an art.
No one should interfere with this basic human right, but Northumberland County Council planners think otherwise. They require retroactive permission for sheds over four years old in the old village of Lynemouth – or demolition.
The villagers are on a war footing. I wish you well in your fight against Morpeth’s bureaucratic aggressors.
Collapsing criminal court system
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The criminal court system is collapsing, with 56,000 cases awaiting trial and victims facing a two-year wait for justice.
New “Nightingale courts” may ease the pressure, but the crisis predates Covid.
The secretary of justice, the size of a lighthouse (with no beam at the top), Chris Grayling closed courts, sold the buildings, laid off staff and destroyed legal aid.
He now presents himself as the parliamentary champion of the much-loved, but increasingly rare, hedgehog.
I await your request for a slaughter from our spiny friends, to “conserve numbers”.