This requires a lot of patience.
/ Getty Images
I have been quite lucky with my Apple devices over the years.
They have rarely been the source of abject disasters. Well, except when my MacBook Air liked its butterfly keyboard – and I didn’t.
Oh, and then there was a time when my iPhone didn’t charge and an Apple Genius told me that my charging technique was defective.
But as many people are stuck at home all day – and at night – the dependency on our gadgets may never have been more extreme.
So I decided to spend a little time watching the Apple Support Twitter feed. What kind of problems were people having? How were they expressing themselves?
After an hour or so of scrolling and scrolling, it’s easy to believe that Apple devices are really not very good. Until you remember, there are billions of them out there now, somewhere.
Still, there is something instructive about how wide the range of issues really is.
Especially when it’s cold.
Sample from a customer: “Why are iPhones so sensitive to cold? Why doesn’t @Apple fix it? My phone’s battery ran out and the phone hung up when I went in today. It’s only -5 degrees Fahrenheit.”
The response from Apple Support was a little cold: “Use iOS devices where the ambient temperature is between 0 degrees and 35 degrees C (32 degrees to 95 degrees F). Low or high temperature conditions can cause the device to change of behavior to regulate its temperature. ”
Emotions can run very high. A customer named Dominic, who claims to be the champion of the spelling bee, tweeted, “My AirPods are rubbish now, they don’t make noise anymore. Apple is a scam.”
As if realizing it might be looking intemperate, he sent a follow-up message: “Sidebar. I left them in my car last night, would the cold have anything to do with affecting the volume? Please help @AppleSupport.”
An advice. Don’t call someone a fraud and then ask for help. That is definitely the wrong order.
Angry, find help. Or Meet the Robot?
Aggression seems to be the essential way of communication for many clients. Threats too.
One customer was dissatisfied with the iPhone 11 battery that lasts only six hours. He tweeted: “MY PHONE IS NOT WORKING anymore .. yo whag [sic] if I sue apple … @ Apple are you? ”
Oh, I think Apple’s lawyers are well versed in the subject of lawsuits.
It wasn’t just iPhones that bothered people. “@AppleSupport my macbook air 2020 won’t turn on. has been doing this for over an hour. what should I do? i bought it in november lol. ”
A remarkably reasonable lol under the circumstances, I felt.
The list of alleged annoyances was remarkably long.
“It’s unbelievable that I can’t update the expiration date on a card filed with Apple. I can’t even remove and add the card again. It’s so frustrating!” shouted a customer.
Some aren’t sure who to blame: “@ Apple @ AppleSupport just updated the iPhone 7 to iOS 14.4 and keeps restarting and can’t use @Verizon cell data. This is a way to force me to update my phone. WTH @VZWSupport . ”
For some, the phone was ringing in silence. A man asked, “Why did my iPhone 7 hit me with the torch on the back?”
For others, Apple Music was not working. And the number of people complaining about Big Sur, if they jumped simultaneously on Highway 101 in Big Sur, would have sent the road to the ocean. (It just happened without them – Ed.)
There was a MacBook that didn’t connect with Wi-Fi and an iPhone 12 Pro Max with a flash that turned orange in the front photos. IOS 14.5 apparently prevented a man’s CarPlay from touching.
There were customers who used harsh language. Well, it’s easier to be angry on Twitter than face to face, isn’t it? Example: “Apple and AT&T need to get together and find out that they are going to pay me for this 12 Pro idiot.”
Somehow, however, I couldn’t find any correlation between the extreme language and Apple’s lack of response.
Some clients have gone to extreme extremes: “Sample:” I am losing the will to live to resolve case No. 101318982224. 3 hours online and 4 hours on the phone talking to 6 different advisers who have not yet been corrected. Unacceptable service. ”
E: “I bought 2 TB of storage and my problems are still not gone. @Map, do you want me to die?”
I’m sure Apple wants you to live and spend more money on other Apple products, actually. I was less sure, however, whether the answers came from humans or robots. Many felt robotically standardized.
For example: “We will be happy to help. What exactly error message are you getting? Send us a DM and we can continue to help you.”
Or: “We would love to help with the performance of the Apple News app! What device and operating system version are you currently using? Please let us know by direct message and we will be happy to verify this with you.”
No, these are human, right?
The more I looked, the more I needed a pacifier. A glass of something without alcohol, perhaps.
If I needed a pacifier, I can’t imagine what the humans on the other side must be thinking and feeling. They are real people, right? It is not always so easy to say.
While all the answers seemed entirely fabricated, some were probably not.
This is for a customer with persistent keyboard problems: “Thanks for contacting us! We are sorry to hear that this has happened again. Without a keyboard, our computers are practically useless.”
But I thought that Apple products have always had great resale value.
Or for someone whose computer just won’t turn on after upgrading to Big Sur: “Hello, Solomon! Thanks for connecting with us! It’s much more useful when we can turn it on.”
You see? Dry wit.
How much can a person tolerate at once?
I asked Apple how many real humans work on the Twitter support team. I also asked how long each shift was. I couldn’t get an answer, from human or robot.
So, I DMed Apple Support and asked: If I had a problem with my Mac, would a real human respond? I received a quick reply: “Rest assured, there are only human beings on the other side of the DM! We are really here and always happy to help.”
On how they manage to tolerate really angry customers, DM offered, “We thank all of our customers.” A touching exaggeration.
Working from home was painful for many. If your job is to face frustration and anger, it really can’t be easy. It’s like you’re being chased all day by political opponents.
Many in tech customer service have shown unusual patience and strength in trying to help the frustrated, the angry and the embarrassed – the Verizon store team has certainly faced the latter problem.
I want to believe that Apple’s support team is used to all of this and just ignores it. But, given the tone of many claimants, I finally see a positive reason for artificial intelligence. The robots feel nothing. Well, not yet.
Still, some customers try to use the charm: “Greetings, my beautifulliesssss @Apple, I think I permanently lost one of my AirPods, how do I recover this one? (I think the next set .. needs external sound too) and now? Tk u. ”
Greetings my beautifulliesssss @Apple , I think I permanently lost one of my AirPods. How do I get it back? I can activate the location, but I can’t get it right … not even in the case … (I think the next set .. needs external sound too) 🤔 and now? Tk you pic.twitter.com/qqAf54VAdR
– FaceTheCuban © 🎈 (@FaceTheCuban) February 10, 2021
I saw no evidence that (this attempt at) charm prompted a more favorable response from Apple.