The first Monday of 2021 seemed to be a brutal battle back to work … until a midday gift arrived in the form of new photos of Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde walking hand in hand with their manager Jeff Azoff at wedding Montecito, California. Wall-to-wall coverage, hysteria and an ongoing journey of emotions soon followed. As an obsessive Styles graduate, I’m swallowing my pride and sharing 31 thoughts I had while listening to the news.
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How does Harry Styles dare to date a woman in her 30s who is not me?
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Wait, when Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis split up? Oh, November? I must have missed that in the midst of the national democratic crisis.
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Remember when Wilde said that she and Sudeikis had “sex as a Kenyan marathon runner?” Goodbye to that, I think.
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Do you also remember when Wilde was married to a prince named Tao Ruspoli, who lived on a school bus, after running away with him on the said school bus? “I said, ‘Wow! I don’t want to meet a guy who lives on a bus! ‘”She said Women’s Health to be with him. They came together because of their art, but the marriage had no sex, as Wilde later disclosed: “I felt like my vagina had died”
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Why does my heart hurt so much?
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She is 36 years old. He’s 26. Harry Styles really likes older women. It is thus resolved: The idea of you it’s real.
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That makes sense. Olivia is directing Harry in his new thriller, Do not worry dear. On-set romances happen all the time, and usually with directors older men and naive women. Nothing but respect for the challenging nature of the rules of this union.
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How Wilde’s genius replaced Shia LeBeouf, allegedly for bad behavior, with a prince among men, Harry Styles.
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I am gradually moving from denial to acceptance. I will allow this because Olivia Wilde is an intelligent and creative writer-director who gave Smart book To the world. Let’s not pretend that she is the only lucky one here.
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I have no choice but to convert my kitchen into a war room and devote the rest of my day to endless speculation about it, including 12 to 14 text strings, Instagram and Twitter DM. I yield any and all productivity to read the photos carefully.
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Of course, Harry Styles’ tuxedo has a trademark with a wide leg. A man’s sweet treasure!
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It magnifies the perfect swirl of ice cream in Harry’s hair – an art form in itself. Don Draper never could.
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His tuxedo is Gucci. And her dress is Gucci. Both masks are the vampire’s wife. They are not only holding hands, but legitimately twinning.
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Somewhere Hilaria Baldwin is happy to be usurped. (Or is she?)
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How many things is Harry Styles able to hold effortlessly in one hand? I see a glass of whiskey on the rocks and at least two other accessories.
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“The Robe” is hot on Twitter because of yet another set of photos of Harry officiating Azoff’s wedding in nothing but a hotel robe and slippers. Did Harry, in fact, officiate a wedding with nothing in a hotel robe and slippers? Does the robe precede or follow the Gucci tuxedo and is it available for rent? This deserves an investigation. Records a FOIA order.
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I love how everyone is now referring to “Jeff” as if he were an old friend and we also attended his micro wedding at Rancho San Ysidro in Montecito.
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Did all celebrities ever get married at Rancho San Ysidro in Montecito?
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A quick Google search confirms that, yes, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chis Martin, Katherine Schwarzennegger and Chris Pratt, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson, and Lily Aldridge and Caleb Followill did.
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Golden Note: Should anyone have any kind of marriage now?
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Dear God, why is Candace Owens in vogue again? Aha! She liked the following tweet about Harry and Olivia.
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Wait, why is Lizzo a trend? Because she and Harry held hands once, but no one romantically “tied” they. Fair point, but they never used matching fashion brands as dates for a micro wedding.
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My friend and prominent Styles guru recalls that there is a One Direction song called “Olivia” that suddenly became relevant. Styles once said timidly about the song: “Olivia is who you want her to be … Is Olivia really a person? Is Olivia a thrill? Is she a place? We don’t know.”
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Olivia Wilde has two children with Sudeikis. Would it be premature to imagine Harry Styles as a stepfather? Is that the feeling of spiraling?
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The paparazzi photos are very clear. Was this public debut as coordinated as your clothes?
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Props for Deux Moi, who predicted today’s bomb with a blind item in his stories on Sunday, provoking that the “dear protagonist of a movie VERY expected for 2021-2022 was photographed with his oldest director / co-star this weekend. week in Santa Barbara. “
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A moment of silence, please, for the Larries, the subgroup of Harry fans who “send” him in a long-standing clandestine affair with former 1D bandmate Liam Payne.
- Has anyone checked on Jason Sudeikis?
- It seems that some people do not think that this story is an issue of urgent national importance.
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I beg to differ. After four years of Trump and a paralyzing global pandemic, we deserve this moment. (Just don’t forget Georgia’s run-off elections on Tuesday.)
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And here we think Styles’ gift for 2021 was the stunning video “Treat People Kindly”. and Phoebe Waller-Bridge, his most notable new partner.