DEAR ABBY: I am a 59 year old man who was engaged to a 46 year old woman. She told me she was going to work on Friday, but I found out that she was actually going on vacation. She was pretending to go to work, but driving to Georgia to find a married man she met on a dating site.
We live in New Jersey, and it’s a 13-hour drive. I found her phone the day before and deleted all of his information, but she still drove there to find him. I am devastated and devastated. Any help or suggestions? I wish people who do these things could be tattooed on their foreheads to alert other good people. – DONATE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR HURT: I sympathize with your pain, which I am sure is considerable. I have some advice that I hope you will listen to. Please realize that finding her phone number before her departure was a gift to you from above. Thank your higher power for now understanding exactly who this woman is and not marrying her.
The time has come to move forward with determination. Better days – and better women – ahead. I say this for sure because you can’t do any worse than this.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.
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DEAR ABBY: I recently spoke to my cousin’s daughter who had just passed away. I offered condolences and a photo of your great-grandfather, who was my grandfather. I also shared some warm memories of your father, my cousin.
She responded with some seriously negative information about her father’s father, my uncle. It really shook me. I didn’t want to know that information. I hardly knew my uncle, but my family memories involved happy moments together.
What she said shocked and saddened me. I wish I didn’t know. I think people should speak well of those who are gone or say nothing. It is not? – NOT NICE IN THE WEST
DEAR UNPLEASANT: Most people tend to omit the unpleasant details when talking about someone who has passed away, but I don’t think there are any strict rules. I am sorry that you were upset by the dose of truth you received in exchange for your warm memories. But understand, I read obituaries and heard compliments so sanitized that I didn’t recognize who was being discussed. Perhaps there is a middle ground.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.
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DEAR ABBY: I’m 13 and I love screens. Sometimes, I stop on my phone at night. I’m beginning to realize my limits. Sometimes I can’t trust my actions and I think I may need help. Do you have any advice? – SEEING THE LIGHT IN MARYLAND
DARLING: You have to be a brave person to admit that you have a problem and be proactive in accepting that it may be something that she cannot resolve on her own. I congratulate you for admitting this. You are not the only teenager with this problem. Many people your age or older also struggle with this.
Your next step should be to talk to your parents about your concerns and ask for help to end your screen addiction. This can sometimes involve more than becoming impatient, and they may need to seek guidance from their doctor.
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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact the Abby guy at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable – and most frequently requested – poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, as well as a $ 8 (US funds) check or money order to: Dear Abby – Keepers Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.
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