Why children also need mental health days – especially now

In recent years, some companies have started encouraging their employees to take days off work for mental health, self-care or well-being. Even companies that do not officially assign time off for mental well-being may allow workers to use days off, sick leave or other paid time off for such reasons. (And the sad reality is that millions of American workers have not yet paid sick leave.)

Just as adults sometimes need a day off to take care of their mental health, so do children – a concept that is gaining more and more strength. In 2018, Utah lawmakers expanded the definition of justified absence from school to include mental as well as physical illnesses. The following year, Oregon passed a similar law recognizing mental or behavioral health concerns as valid reasons for missing school. Other states have since followed suit, promulgating (or proposing) similar measures.

The past year of the pandemic was difficult for all of us, but the children endured a much. They were abruptly launched into distance learning, isolated from their friends and relatives, unable to participate in extracurricular activities and forced to adapt to other major changes, all while managing a great deal of uncertainty.

“Now that we are entering an entire year since the pandemic began, children are exhausted,” Ann-Louise Lockhart – apA New Day Pediatric Psychology psychiatrist and parent trainer – he told HuffPost. “Many feel isolated, anxious, bored and depressed. They are feeling tired, discouraged and incredibly unmotivated. “

Now, children face a new challenge: to return to the classroom after a year at home. Some children may be excited to resume personal learning, while others are understandably eager to get back to school.

They can worry about getting sick with COVID-19, who they are going to play with or who they are going out with, or how they are going to catch up on their schoolwork if they are late. Students who were suspended for personal bullying during distance learning may fear that they will be persecuted again, said Michele Borba, educational psychologist and author of the forthcoming book “Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Other Shine”.

What I mean is that children have a lot to do and deserve a day of mental health as much as anyone – especially now. The following, child experts explain why it might be a good idea, how to know if your child needs a day off and other ways to support him.

In addition to the obvious benefit of your child having a much-needed break, parents who give their children permission to take care of their mental health are sending some important messages.

On the one hand, it shows that you prioritize self-care – and that they should too. In a culture that usually celebrates work to the point of exhaustion, it is important to remind your child that it is okay to slow down. It signals that you care more about their mental and emotional well-being than about external measures of success, such as grades or other compliments.

“In many families, the message has been to work harder, continue and be strong,” said Lockhart. “While there is value in many messages of perseverance and persistence, we also need to send the message that balance and rest are important.”

Sometimes children feel that they need to lie to their parents and say that they are physically ill to skip classes. Encouraging your child to have a mental health day, however, presents an opportunity to have an honest conversation about whatever he is struggling with.

In addition, they get into the habit of checking regularly, rather than just addressing mental health issues when they reach the boiling point.

“Pausing to devote some time to mental health and well-being helps teach children to assess what their difficulties are and to deal with them accordingly,” said clinical psychologist Cindy T. Graham of the Brighter Hope Wellness Center. “Rather than waiting until someone is experiencing an episode of depression, for example, learning to see their first warning signs and implementing appropriate coping techniques is important.”

How your child reacts to stress can be different depending on his personality and temperament, Graham said. Some children may verbally express that they are overwhelmed, anxious or sad – some may be more reserved than normal. Others may show that they are stressed through their behavior; they can become more sticky or dependent on you.

Disinterest or lack of pleasure in hobbies or activities that they once enjoyed is an indicator that parents can look for. Staying away from friends and family is another.

“They are becoming increasingly disconnected from others and isolated from friends, with less desire for meaningful social connections,” noted Lockhart.

You may also notice changes in your usual routines, such as sleeping too much or too little, or an increase or decrease in appetite.

Differences in mood can also be signs to watch for.

“You notice more irritability, anger or a low tolerance for frustrating or disappointing events,” said Lockhart.

While giving your child a break from school can provide some short-term stress relief, it will not help to control long-term mental or emotional health conditions. If your child is having a stressful week, this is one thing. But if they are exhibiting the above signs over weeks or months, parents should consider connecting them to a therapist.

“Recurrent symptoms of mental health difficulties should be treated by a licensed clinician to give your child the best chance to learn strategies that adapt to him and his situation,” said Graham.

Start by helping your child identify their main sources of stress and come up with some healthy coping strategies together. Graham suggested some, how to make a diary, create a video journal, draw or write a poem or song. You can also schedule an appointment with your therapist for them, if any.

If you can, consider taking the day off as well and planning a walk or activity together, suggested Lockhart, although this is not always possible. Either way, be sure to check with your child during the day to see how he is feeling.

“Keeping the questions open and encouraging your child to say what they are thinking in a ‘judgment-free’ zone helps promote feelings of security in communicating difficult feelings,” said Graham.

Give your child permission to rest, recharge their batteries and let go of any feelings of guilt they may be having for taking time off. Remind them that a mental health day does not mean ignoring their responsibilities, Graham said. “In fact, it is the opposite: having the responsibility to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. “

In addition to taking an occasional day off, it is important that parents regularly set aside time to talk – and care for – the family’s well-being, Borba said.

“A set time for the family for daily mental health – to walk, exercise, read, take a deep breath, play in the sand, rub their backs, listen to soothing music – can be powerful in helping children recognize this mental well-being – not just GPA and test scores – it matters, ”said Borba. “Children can practice these coping and decompression strategies, identify those that work for them and use them for the rest of their lives.”