For me, a child of the 90s with a passion for the kind of elegance that eating a Ferrero Rocher conveys, the commercial you see above for Viennetta, a decadent ice cream for the one percent, provokes a very strong and positive reaction. Imagine my absolute pleasure in knowing that Miss Viennetta is returning. Finally, some fucking good news.
Eater reports that Good Humor, the company that manufactured this delicious luxury treatment, is taking the old girl out of retirement in 2021, although I don’t know why? Perhaps there are pockets of America and beyond crying out for the subtle opulence of this stuffed ice cream cake, but I can’t imagine that the demand was vocal or sustained. Still, the good news is that anyone who wants to enjoy a life lived like the heroine of a romance novel will be able to do so when Viennetta returns to the freezer of her local A&P.
A cake that is completely drowning in grooves is the type of cake I want to eat just for me, thanks, but a Viennetta was made to be shared. Technically, someone could eat a Viennetta alone, over the course of a few days, but then you won’t have the thrill of recreating your iconic commercials, which have manicured hands crying out for more ice cream, please and thank you!
There is an iconic scene in Ramona and his mother, where Ramona squeezes an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathroom sink in an attempt to get his mother’s attention. The ruffles on this giant Vianetta look like what I imagined that toothpaste cake to be – extruded as if from a machine, but also, tasteful and elegant. It is unfortunate, however, that the faceted crystal of the type seen in Vianetta commercials was considered the height of luxury in the mid-90s, because the second thing I thought about when I heard this news was cat food.
That smug-faced sweetie is eating a real pile of Fancy Feast with the same dessert cups that I will use to serve Viennetta to my guests as soon as we all receive the little punch in the arm and are able to breathe safely and close to each other without fear of diseases! Until then, I’ll scour eBay for crystal cutlery and practice my skills as a receptionist for the cat, the money tree in the living room, and a pillow in an old sweatshirt. It will be a very long winter and I must prepare myself like this. Dinner – then dessert! – is served.