The night Auburn held the ball for a whole room

The 30-minute trip remains an indescribable and improbable dream, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank Auburn for his contribution to this field of science. Join me for an affectionate reminder of the night when the Tigers held the ball for an entire quarter against South Carolina on a September 2006 night?

THE CAST OF CHARACTERS

Auburn’s head coach, Tommy Tuberville, is destined for a future adjacent to sedition in the District of Columbia. Steve Spurrier, smiling maliciously on the opposite line, has just completed his own disastrous turn in our country’s capital. One of them will be sent by the will of the people, while the other was handpicked by Daniel Snyder. What I am saying is that wrong decisions come in all shapes and sizes.

Just keep in mind, throughout this, that the coach watching helplessly as he cannot call an offensive move for what must have seemed like an eternity is Steve Spurrier. I’m honestly proud of him for not sitting with his back to the field, opening a book and asking an assistant to alert him “whenever we have the brilliant idea of ​​getting the damn ball back”.

Will Muschamp is also here, although he has nothing to do this quarter, as his unit never sets foot on the pitch. (He will have his own clock misfortunes in South Carolina one day, don’t worry.) No, the hero of the night is his colleague, Al Borges, Auburn’s crime commander, and at the time this book was written, the Michigan OC’s last to beat Ohio State.

Tonight, he writes his magnum opus.

THE GROSS NUMBERS

In this third quarter, Auburn does the following:

• 137 attack yards
• 50% of third parties converted (3 of 6)
• 30 pieces
• 2 drives
• 1 bedroom down conversion

None of this seems particularly impressive, and that is the point. You cannot sit on the ball for 15 minutes making big gains and touchdowns. Ten of Auburn’s 30 executions in this period fail to achieve positive footage, and for the purposes of this unusual achievement, all ten are necessary.

But none of them matter without the most important ingredient in the stew, the fulcrum on which two goods measure the length of a quarter:

THE SURPRISE FULL OF SIDE

Imagine the most graceful heron ever born on this planet. Imagine it in your mind, diving and gliding over a motionless lake like a mirror at sunrise, the roses and purples of the sky reflecting in the water and the feathers and the heron’s beak as it cuts through the air. Close your eyes and suppose this heron begins to sing the most painfully wonderful aria in perfect harmony, filling your chest with joy and your eyes with tears of happiness.

This side kick is more beautiful than all that shit.

It is the connective tissue that joins two units and makes this one-sided room possible. Done so well that an Auburn player can stop, wait to receive it like a baby kick, swing it and watch a teammate retrieve the ball without a Gamecock even touching the leather. I am leaving a family heirloom for this kick in my will.

Continues. Watch it again and then we’ll continue.

SEVEN OTHER IMPORTANT GAMES (NO SPECIFIC REQUEST)

1. John Vaughn kicks a 25-yard field goal. This concludes Auburn’s first inauguration, a trip that devours 8:38. If that shot had failed, the Tigers could not have continued their temporal feast – South Carolina would have taken over the attack immediately, with no chance of a side kick.
2. Brad Lester returns the kickoff post-break for 11 yards, and a retention penalty moves Auburn back to his own seven. A long journey takes time (almost nine minutes in this case). A medium or even good return reduces a play or two from Auburn’s first ball possession – which, as we will see, could have been fatal.
3. Brandon Cox completes an eight-yard pass to Robert Dunn in 4th and 6th on Gamecock 30. A downward turn gives South Carolina the ball, as well as a punt most likely. A field goal not necessarily, but it would have to be made and followed by a less surprising second side kick. Seeking was the safest way for Auburn to maintain possession.
4. Brandon Cox completes a 12-yard pass to Lee Guess on the 3rd and 11th at Auburn 16. This is the Tigers’ fifth move in the third quarter, and a failure to convert here will almost certainly lead to a punt, ending this adventure before he can even start properly.
5. Carl Stewart runs without a win in 2nd and goal in South Carolina 1. When this ball is taken, the clock still has 51 seconds remaining in the fourth. If Stewart had scored, Auburn would have lost complete possession in the third.
6. Kenny Irons runs without a win in 3rd and goal in South Carolina 1. This time, the clock dropped to 0:12 at the snap, but an accelerated touchdown would not consume all the remaining time.
7. On the 3rd and 21st of South Carolina 33, Cox completed a 25-yard pass to Courtney Taylor. In fact, I want to examine this piece as part of a larger whole:

SHIPMENT TO ANYWHERE

Most of the third quarter follows a pattern. Auburn out, hits a move or two to keep the chains moving, out again, and then takes a first down again. It’s a bit like watching someone who has just learned to drive a minivan with very sensitive brakes.

But Auburn’s second impulse contains a sequence that defies the rules of time and progress, and gives them the final impulse they need.

Remember that wonderful side kick? This has a disadvantage: the attack starts with a very good field position, which does not make the job of chewing the watch any easier. Auburn’s first race occupied more than half of the third quarter, but started at seven. It starts near midfield and there is still more than six minutes left in the quarter.

The first move, an 18-yard pass, puts Auburn at 34 in South Carolina. And then the Expedition to Nowhere begins.

Here, I made a map for you.

1. 3 yard run
2. 1 yard run
3. Incomplete pass
4. Completion of 8 yards (item three from the previous list)
5. 8 yard penalty
6. 5 Yard Bag
7. 2-yard run
8. The third and 21 converts, I was waiting to talk about

When Play 1 starts, the clock reads 5:51. When the ball snapped on Play 8, it dropped to 2:02. Cox finds a receiver to maintain the unit, but the real miracle is that Auburn managed to get rid of almost four minutes, but ended up with a net gain of a yard in seven games.

And that was it, dear reader, as Auburn kept the ball for the entire third quarter against South Carolina in 2006, while scoring three points.