This year was a devastating hell from a dump fire. For reasons of sanity, large chunks of it should be suppressed as soon as possible.
Continuing crises, however, have had an illuminating effect on the political landscape. Some players stood up to face the moment. Others sank and there was no bottom. This classification must be remembered, especially since many of these public eminences are beginning to rush to rehabilitate their brands. Their achievements in 2020, as they were, must be honored with superlatives that capture who they have turned out to be. Think of the high school yearbook distinctions, with only real-world implications.
Don’t look for President Trump on this list. In a class alone, he was considered ineligible for consideration. The competition would have been extremely unfair with such a dominant force. As for the rest of the swamp …
Most compromised bootlicker
Senator Lindsey Graham
This was a hotly contested category, but at the end of the day, no one could beat the South Carolina Republican.
More Inauthentic
Senator Kelly Loeffler
Talk about a total makeover: Republican Georgia, nominated for her seat last December, has turned from a chic, moderate suburban mother’s bait into a right-wing cultural warrior, who throws bombs and wears a cap, faster than you can say “opportunism political. “
Class clown
Rudy Giuliani
Trump’s early years had already changed Rudy’s identity from mayor of America to the president’s unbalanced apparatchik. But 2020 was when he totally lost the thread, evolving into several cautionary tales and memes from the internet. There was his dripping hair dye. (Or was it mascara?) The time he “tucked in his shirt” for Borat’s daughter. The Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference was held near a porn store and a crematorium. The fart. (Go ahead. Search Google.) 2021 can’t get there soon.
More dreamer
Dr. Anthony Fauci
In January, who would have predicted that one of the biggest heartthrobs of the year would be an 80-year-old government immunologist?
More distressing
Senator Susan Collins
Whatever the occasion, the Republican of Maine can be counted on to express her deep but meaningless concern.
Cutest couple
Nancy Pelosi and Steven Mnuchin
The mayor and the secretary of the treasury spent a lot of time and energy drawing up bailouts for Covid. Most weddings do not require much work.
Most disappointing
Representative Elise Stefanik
Since her election in 2014, the New York Republican has presented herself as her party’s healthy and moderate future, with a special focus on improving her reputation with women. So it has been particularly unpleasant to see her carry water for the most undemocratic and misogynistic president in memory.
More Disappointed
Senator Elizabeth Warren
After so many promises and so many plans, the Massachusetts Democrat did not even win his party’s progressive wing, which went to Uncle Bernie.
The largest invertebrate
Basically, the entire Republican Senate conference
It will probably sell your soul for more power
Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell
Just kidding, of course. He made this transaction a long time ago.
Greater provocation
John Bolton, former national security adviser
All that boasting about internal secrets just to sell a book. He should have testified in the House’s impeachment investigation.
Greater probability of success
Pete Buttigieg
If anyone can make Infrastructure Week really happen, that person will be the over-the-top and chic choice of President-elect Joe Biden to head the Department of Transportation.
Most likely to stage a failed coup attempt
Representative Louie Gohmert
Suing Vice President Mike Pence in a complicated attempt to defeat election results and keep Mr. Trump in office? This is next-level flattery.
Best Napper
Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross
It will probably end up in ‘Dancing With the Stars’
Kimberly Guilfoyle
Warning: it may not be suitable for children.
Biggest clutch player
Representative Jim Clyburn
It is hardly an exaggeration to say that Biden owes his presidency to the timely endorsement of the dean of Democratic politics in South Carolina.
It will probably be the next ‘Tiger King’
Representative Matt Gaetz
With or without his gas mask, the would-be Trump is the last man in Florida.
More persistent
Joe Biden
It took a pandemic once in a century and the most terrible holder in history, but he finally won the job he had been looking for for more than three decades.
Obviously auditioning to be a Fox News presenter
One move.
Kayleigh McEnany, the White House press secretary, takes advantage when it comes to execution, but Jenna Ellis, one of the president’s lawyers, earns points for working so hard.
Most likely to be a ‘Succession’ character
Steven Mnuchin
Hopefully, this will not conflict with your true calling as Bond’s next villain.
More Corrupt
Tie 20 to 30 ways
With this management, the category was impossible to be reduced.
Best Team Player
Senator Bernie Sanders
The Vermont lefty may be screaming and grumpy, but he acknowledged that unifying Democratic voters quickly and with minimal disputes was the key to saving the nation from a second Trump term.
More Degraded
Mike Pence
It was bad enough when he was on the right track to be remembered for his accurate fly paper imitation. But now, after four years of thankless subservience, he is being dragged into Trumpworld’s crazy crusade to overturn the election results. The constitution mandates the vice president to preside over the counting of votes for the Electoral College by Congress. The MAGA guys are lobbying you to deliver the victory to Mr. Trump. The VP is looking at a difficult January.
Biggest threat to American democracy
Attorney General Bill Barr
That’s what happens when the country’s top security officer puts his boss’s individual interests above the rule of law.
In for the Rudest Awakening
Javanka
Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had a lot of fun playing in government and diplomacy while protected from any real responsibility. After the presidency, their lives are likely to get more complicated – socially, politically and perhaps even legally.