Note: This feature contains some spoilers for a very old game and a remake of that very old game.
Any Final Fantasy fan may want to stop reading at this point. That’s right, the first sentence. Admission time: I never played the seminal Cloud Strife adventure on the original PlayStation, or any other Final Fantasy title. The closest I got was watching my cousin play Final Fantasy IX; I remember being kind of fascinated by this, but I would be lying if I said I understood what was happening on the screen. Essentially, I have no affection for the franchise. It’s not that I think the games are bad, I just never got into them. However, something has recently changed: Final Fantasy VII Remake has been made available to PS Plus members.
At first, I thought about ignoring him, but how could I get the chance to play for free? This is a remake of a game that (more or less) popularized JRPGs in the West. It is a game often recognized as All Timer, one of the greats, a masterpiece. Demand for a remake has been strong since 2005, and how could you not did you feel the excitement when it was finally announced at E3 10 years later? People really like this game about a muscular man with an idiotic name, and now I can play the remake for free. I think I should, I thought.
Before I started, though, I thought it would be fun to get my co-workers at Push Square involved. They know very well that I am not a big fan of JRPGs, so I wondered how far in the game they thought I would get before I ended the day. Robert Ramsey had the greatest faith in me, betting that I would make it through. Sammy Barker was less secure, betting your money on my abandonment around the second time you go to the sewer. Liam Croft was the least optimistic, claiming that I wouldn’t even start the game. Okay, guys, challenge accepted.
Spoiler: I started the game. Without nostalgia for the original and without any point of reference, I started my search for curiosity. All I knew when I entered, having absorbed fragments of information over the years, was that you play as a man named Cloud, and someone named Aerith is killed halfway. I saw the clip. Absolutely cracked by a nasty guy with a sword. Totally chopped.
Anyway, first impressions were very good. The sweeping opening scene is fantastic; it has an incredibly large scale, expanding to show Midgar’s absurd scale. The cinematic quality is there and, initially, it really got to me. He features the Avalanche team, with Barrett, Biggs, Wedge, Jessie and, of course, Cloud Strife. I’m afraid to say that Cloud’s somersault off the train to land on the platform didn’t seem so cool. This is not a nice guy. Like, who does that? It immediately cemented in my mind that this guy is a little bit of an idiot. Still, I couldn’t just throw it all away.
Unfortunately for Final Fantasy VII Remake, the characters open their mouths and speak. I’m sorry, some fan is still reading, despite my initial warning, but I didn’t like the dialogue very much. Of course, some of them are perfectly fine, but I was surprised at how predictable the characters are – they fall into classic archetypes right away. I found it impossible to get attached to Biggs and Wedge, who have felt disposable since the beginning, but personally I was not able to get on board with the characterization and the dialogue in general. I understand that Remake is just part of a bigger project, but they all looked very one-dimensional to me. I also understand that this is a new version of a 1997 game, so it is clear that there will be some strange or unstable dialogue. Even with that in mind, I struggled with the script and the characters most of the time with the game.
One aspect that I came to like was the combat. To begin with, I found it very complex. It presents itself as a hack-n-slash action game, but it’s not really; Basic attacks are just a way to increase your proper moves, accessed from the ATB menu. It’s a strange hybrid of real-time action and command selection, but once I put my head around it – as well as frequently switching characters – I found it quite satisfying. Boss fights, in particular, became a highlight for me, discovering their weaknesses and exploiting them to the best of my ability. I also loved the overall combat talent, with great animations and effects as you play magic and strike with huge swords.
I think a highlight for me was actually the insane mission with the guy on the bike. I had to look for his name and it’s Roche. Cloud and his gang are riding a motorcycle to get to Jessie’s old house and run some Avalanche business, but this man rocks his body, spinning his bike like a conker on a rope, and that’s so ridiculous. Fighting with him while driving was one thing, but he appears again, and it is a sight to behold. I think I liked the game more in those moments, when you are not afraid to embrace the absurd. Another example would be the part where you literally fight a demonic house. I had never seen this before.
Unfortunately, things were starting to wear out for me when I arrived at the Don Corneo section. The game is extremely inconsistent in its pace and even in its visual quality, and I found it all very shocking. I almost gave up on the part where you have to operate the robotic arms to move containers – so clumsy and, most importantly, totally unnecessary. The game is much longer than necessary because of sections like this and, really, I think they were the ones that prevented me from winning the game.
That’s right – not only was Liam wrong about me starting, but Robert was wrong about me ending. Sammy ended up winning the bet, but I didn’t make it to the second stretch of sewer (one was enough). Where did I stop? The haunted train yard. To be clear, it wasn’t so much that specific part of the game that made me let go of control, but to be where I left it. I think I got to the point where I got tired of it all.
Little things were starting to irritate – having to hold Triangle to pull the levers (but not all the time!), The forced walking sections, the dialogue, some seriously bizarre scenes and more. In addition, things clearly designed to excite longtime fans have been completely lost to me. Things like Sephiroth showing up sporadically, for example, lost any of their impact, because I didn’t understand (and still don’t understand) why it’s a big deal. I appreciate that people love the original and love the remake, but for me, I just got tired of the nonsense of the game. I started my PS5 and thought about what I should be playing. Final Fantasy VII Remake would cross my mind, and I let out a breath. I couldn’t go on – especially knowing that there were still many hours to go.
I accepted that it is not for me, and that’s fine. I can live with that. I’m happy to have made a solid attempt, but I think it will probably be between me and Final Fantasy. Interestingly, Liam hadn’t touched the original before playing Remake, and he absolutely loved it, so don’t let me discourage you if you’re in the same boat. I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, to be honest. I mean, trust your instincts, but at the same time, if you have a chance to try new things, you should. Do these messages conflict? Kind of. I am interrupting the appeal now.
Do you empathize with Stephen’s assessment of Final Fantasy VII Remake? Did you also fight a beloved game? Sprinkle some Phoenix Down in the comments section below.