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Sometimes, at the end of a long week when someone stole Lady Gaga’s dogs and a new variant of the coronavirus hit New York City, it’s a relief to see just a piece of the stupid old Internet. You know what I mean; the Before Times website, where people made memes and discussed movies and then lived their days. People now know that the internet has never been so innocent – the darkest corners were just the most hidden – but there were times when ignorance was blessed and we can see glimpses of it now in small bursts of light.
What’s new in today’s online poetry? The revelation of the new Spider-Man 3 title. See how it happened. Fans have been speculating for some time about the name of the third Spidey film led by Tom Holland. Seeing that the previous installments used some variation of the word House–Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: away from home– most thought the new film would have something similar, perhaps even about how much time people spent in their homes during the Covid-19 pandemic. Spider-Man: working at home? Spider-Man: home educated? Spider-Man: HGTV? The possibilities were endless.
Then, to add to the excitement, the film’s cast – Holland (aka Peter Parker), Zendaya (MJ) and Jacob Batalon (Peter Ned’s best friend) – hit social media with a coordinated campaign like only Marvel. can . On Wednesday, each posted a new image of the film along with a title card with a different name. Zendaya delivered Spider-Man: Home Slice with the caption “I’m very excited to announce the new title for Spider-Man. So proud of this … FOS [Friends of Spider-Man] is back! “Holland fell Spider-Man: Phone home, adding: “I’m very excited to announce the new title for Spider-Man. I can’t wait for you to see what we’ve been up to. Atlanta love. “Batalon? Spider-Man: Home Destroyer. “We are excited to share the TITLE of our new film !!” He wrote. “🤩😝😱 Also enjoy this exclusive image from the film, an extra gift from us 😘.”
This was obviously a huge troll. While all of these were hilarious titles, the Internet Spider’s senses quickly alerted them that something was wrong. Even Amblin Entertainment, the company that made ET, the film that made the phrase “Phone home” iconic, knew that the feedback was up. “I’ve been there, I did it, Web-Head”, tweeted the company. “(You can borrow our Speak & Spell if you need help to build a communicator to call Aunt May’s house .;))” Brands! Making jokes on Twitter! What is this, 2015? Lol sigh.
Eventually, the cast revealed the real title. Reflecting on Holland’s tendency to ruin its own films, Marvel posted a video showing the star leaving director Jon Watts’s office and saying to Batalon and Zendaya: “He gave us a false name again … I just don’t understand why that he keeps doing this. “” Don’t you understand? “Batalon replies.” I think it’s pretty obvious that you screw things up. “” Your business is screwing things up, “adds Zendaya. As the gang keeps on playing, they pass by a white board with dozens of title ideas, and the real one written in big letters in the middle: Spider-Man: no way home.
Here it is. It was fun. As soon as the video was released, people began to dissect each word and image on the white board, trying to guess clues about the new film. It was nice. The taunts and fakes were definitely troll moves, but the good kind – the kind that doesn’t end with someone being hurt or with psychological scars. Everyone discovered not only the title of the new film, but also the release date – December 25th – and absolutely no dogs were injured in the process. I could say more, but it’s Friday and it feels right to leave you with some good news.
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