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The mental health of black women is often invalidated – and this problem starts at home
In high school, Nia Wromas was depressed because of an emotionally abusive relationship. She tried to open up to her parents, but they couldn’t hear her. They said with disdain that she was just “sad” and blamed other factors, even saying, “You wouldn’t be depressed if you cleaned the room.” Wromas says that, at that time, she often felt that her parents thought she was just “being selfish or a brat”. She remembers thinking at the time, I wish they understood. I’m depressed and I just want you to be there. Today, at 23, she still has the impression that her parents have an idea of who she is that doesn’t match her real identity. “I don’t know why my parents say, ‘Oh, that’s not you,'” says Wromas. “What version are you talking about? Because I never saw that. This is the only version; this is the best that can happen. ”Madeline Smith remembers her father saying to her,“ Don’t do this, don’t cry ”when she was mourning the loss of her grandmother in sixth grade. That same year, she tried to kill herself at school. Back at home, her mother asked her, “You did this to get attention, right?” At the time, Smith told his mother that he did, but now she says, “Why would I do something like that to get attention? I felt ashamed. Smith explains: “My initial thought was to agree that [my parents] they didn’t feel bad about themselves. I agree, so that no one else looks badly at them. ”Her family did not discuss the suicide attempt again with Smith, and although she continues to deal with self-harm today, she never talked about it with them. Wromas and Smith’s experiences are not unique. There is a deep and lasting stigma around mental health in black communities. “When you think about our history in this country and slavery, it was a necessity [dismiss mental health], ”Says Taisha Caldwell-Harvey, PhD, a psychologist and founder of The Black Girl Doctor, who serves as Dr. Tai.“ That was about survival. If something helps you to survive, then your job as a mother is to teach your child how to survive as well. And then you’re like, ‘I can’t teach you how to show emotions’ because you’re operating with this belief that it’s going to destroy you. But when that mindset is transmitted and is no longer a necessity, it becomes a problem. ”DashDividers_1_500x100 Black women in particular are taught from an early age to contain their emotions. “It is this idea that ‘my grandmother did everything by myself, my mother did everything by myself and I should do everything myself’,” says Dr. Tai. “This is what it means to be a strong, successful and proud black woman , and I think the weight of that is overwhelming for many of us. ” The pressure that black women feel and internalize to be strong and resilient in all situations is sometimes called a strong black woman scheme. While this mindset can be protective at times, the research has also linked the belief system to psychological suffering. In a 2011 study, researchers interviewed black women about the “Superwoman Scheme”. Participants described feeling obligated to suppress their emotions. Many of the women interviewed in the study said they considered asking for help as a sign of weakness. But they also remembered the times when they avoided seeking help, when they could probably have used it. As a result of repressing their emotions, some of the women described having gone through “breakdowns”, during which they were overwhelmed with the stress of life. Kyla Hubbard remembers feeling that it would be selfish or foolish to ask for emotional support, even though it did. When she was in kindergarten, her father was arrested and remained in prison until Hubbard was in eighth grade. While your home was missing an integral part, your family’s way of dealing with it was to shut down completely. “At the end of the day, I had my needs,” she says of her thought process during those years. “I am not concerned with the origin of my meals or where my clothes come from. So, I shouldn’t overload them with more. Hubbard, now 19, has spent her development years ignoring a turning point in her life, which she now believes has hampered her emotional growth. The “laundering” of mental health research in the United States plays an important role in the stigma surrounding mental health in black communities, points out Amanda Ashley, a mental health counselor and advocate. For decades, black psychologists have spoken out against the tendency to centralize the white experience in professional studies; although this disparity led to the formation of the Association of Black Psychologists in 1968, it is a problem that still persists. The intention behind the organization was to separate itself from the American Psychology Association, due to “the APA’s complicit role in perpetuating white racism in society and the prevalence of studies featuring only white male participants”. The fact that so much research in psychology and mental health is based on the experience of whites creates a huge barrier to blacks’ ability to seek quality care, says Ashley, whose studies focus on the de-stigmatization of black mental health. “We don’t come from the same places, we don’t raise our children in the same way – because we can’t – and we don’t have the same privileges,” she explains. The lack of culturally competent therapists also contributes to this problem. In 2019, 83% of people in the psychology workforce were white and only 3% were black, reports the APA. Geographical and cultural differences play a monumental role in mental health, so when your therapist or psychologist is unable to connect with your cultural experiences, they are at risk of misdiagnosing you. Blacks may feel historically alienated by available mental health resources; they may also be afraid to seek help, due to years of ill-treatment in the medical field. “There is a lot of fear and it is justified,” says Dr. Tai. DashDividers_1_500x100 The stigma surrounding mental health in the black community is incredibly damaging. This has devastating consequences: in 2018, the National Institute of Mental Health reported that suicide was the second leading cause of death in black children aged 10 to 14 and the third leading cause of death in black adolescents aged 15 to 19 years. When the researchers examined suicide rates among children and young adults, they found that black children aged 5 to 12 were almost twice as likely to die from suicide as their white peers. The study authors did not investigate why this disparity exists, but signaled the urgent need for appropriate mental health resources for this community. The events of the past year have made it particularly urgent to speak more openly about mental health. According to the Psychiatric Times, the pandemic has disproportionately affected black communities because of the existing medical, legal and social problems they already face. As such, many black Americans are under high levels of stress in the past year. And while there is hope that the public health crisis caused by COVID-19 appears to be slowly passing, many experts say the mental health crisis is just beginning. It is essential, therefore, that black families face mental health head-on and no longer neglect their children’s feelings. Sadness is not a sign of weakness; showing emotional vulnerability should be celebrated. “It’s hard for us to give someone something we didn’t have,” recognizes Jeanevra Pearson, Clinical Director at Advocate2Create, about black parents’ reluctance to talk about mental health. For years, black mothers fought for a future in which their daughters were no longer trapped in the same “tortuous room” in which they were forced. And while their survival efforts are appreciated, many Generation Z and Generation Y black women are unwavering in their commitment to breaking the generational exclusion of mental health. An American Psychology Association survey found that Generation Z is now more likely to report their mental health problems. “Social media is able to bring awareness to [mental health] and allow more people to start talking about it, ”says Amber Dee, founder of Black Girl Therapist. “Since COVID started, I’m seeing more people arriving [to therapy] because now you are not judged for going. We’re all going crazy inside the house, right? But before, it was perceived as something to be kept secret. Even though I feel that the millennium generation has broken that norm. Most of us are a ‘girl, let me tell you what my therapist said’ type of person – so I think it’s even more acceptable now ”. Several online platforms focused on the mental health of black women have emerged, including The Black Girl Doctor, Therapy for Black Girls, The Loveland Foundation and many more. The increase in virtual mental health resources, including educational social media accounts and Internet support groups, has made care more accessible for many people and has made it easier for people to find social support – something Pearson says is vital, especially for people whose family may not be open about mental health. “If they don’t have the emotional capacity and willingness to embrace you, they will harm you if you are supported by them,” says Pearson. It is good to talk to your family about mental health and try to show them your point of view, but if you are in crisis, it is essential to find support instead of trying to make them understand. But Dr. Tai, Pearson, Ashley and other experts say that young black women are making great strides to break the stigma surrounding mental health. And through these online platforms focused on mental health, they are realizing that they are no longer restricted to the standards that have been instilled in them: depression can be discussed at the dinner table. “Knowing the things my parents told me and how it affected me taught me that if I ever have children, when there is something wrong with them, I will never bring my problems into the situation,” says Wromas. “It will be about them.” DashDividers_1_500x100 If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433. Like what you’re seeing? How about a little more kindness R29, right here? Black therapists reflect on last year Michelle Obama says she has ‘low-grade depression’ Black and brown women are reviving tarot and astrology