In Azerbaijan, winning the war in Nagorno-Karabakh was easier than reconciling with Armenia

“It is not possible,” she said. They “came to our land and our children are dead because of them”.

For years, Azerbaijan and Armenia have been at odds over their conflicting claims about Nagorno-Karabakh. The enclave is internationally recognized as part of Azerbaijan, but it has been controlled by ethnic Armenians for nearly three decades.

Last fall, Azeri forces recovered parts of the territory. A subsequent truce negotiated by Russia in November aimed to end the dispute over the mountainous enclave definitively.

But the scale of the losses on both sides and the deep enmity make it difficult to move forward and rebuild the destroyed province, leaving it a powder box not only for Azerbaijan and Armenia, but for the broader stability of the traditional domain of Moscow in the South Caucasus.

Some 2,855 Azeri soldiers were killed during the six weeks of fighting that broke out on September 27, according to the country’s Ministry of Defense. More than 100 remain missing. Armenian officials say more than 3,000 of their soldiers have died, while the total number of civilian casualties has been about 150, according to official records from Armenia and Azerbaijan.

“There were many tragedies on both sides. The wounds are very deep, ”said Natig Jafarli, an Azerbaijani opposition politician who runs a research organization he says has worked to establish contacts between Azeris and Armenians in Nagorno-Karabakh, with the aim of promoting some degree of reconciliation.

Each side blames the other for triggering last autumn’s conflict, and although both are ex-Soviet republics, they are divided by culture, religion and loyalty to the region’s main powers. Azerbaijan is an ally of Turkey, while Armenia shares strong ties with Russia, which maintains military bases there.

The conflict over who should control Nagorno-Karabakh, the size of Delaware, could also reignite if the two sides fail to build bridges between themselves.

Many Armenians have already called on Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan to resign for having given in to the truce, condemning it as an act of capitulation. Armenian diaspora members in the United States, Europe and elsewhere have warned Azerbaijan to grant equal rights and protection to Armenians who may choose to return to areas now under Azeri control.

Azeri officials accuse Armenian forces of using banned collective bombs against some Azeri cities, such as Barda, during last autumn’s conflict, a claim supported by a recent report by Amnesty International.

Each side also accuses the other of continuing to abuse prisoners of war. Both deny the other’s claims.

Hikmet Hajiyev, chief political advisor to Azeri President Ilham Aliyev, acknowledged that finding common ground is a challenge, but the two sides have already agreed to work together to revive Nagorno-Karabakh’s tattered economy and strengthen trade and rail links, a important component of the peace agreement. Deputy Prime Ministers of Armenia, Azerbaijan and Russia are due to meet in Moscow on Saturday to start discussions.

“In any military operation, winning the war is sometimes much easier than winning the peace,” said Hajiyev.

Ali Hajizade, a political analyst in Baku, said that without reconciliation between Azeris and ordinary Armenians, sustainable peace would be impossible. “This is an achievable goal, but it is not possible now,” he said.

Azerbaijan appears to have the advantage in the peace process. Partly financed by oil wealth, its military capability is far superior to that of Armenia. The recovery of the territory lost to Armenia during the collapse of the Soviet Union has been a goal of its leaders and the enthusiasm for its territorial gains in Nagorno-Karabakh is palpable.

The celebrations have spread across Azerbaijan since the truce was signed and local media are still proud of their triumph. In the immigration and baggage rooms at Baku International Airport, signs hanging on the walls and above the passport inspection booths greet passengers who arrive with the statement: “Karabakh is ours. Karabakh is Azerbaijan. “

“In the past 30 years, Azerbaijan’s social, economic, foreign policy life, whatever you want, everything has been dedicated to a single problem – Nagorno-Karabakh,” said Ahmad Alili, director of the Caucasus Policy Analysis Center, a independent think tank in Baku.

Those who have lost loved ones in the conflict, however, are anxious not to see their sacrifice forgotten as the two countries begin to work for lasting peace, he warns.

“The only thing left for the parents or wife of a dead soldier is that the name of the son or husband is not forgotten,” said Alili.

During her last phone conversation with her son, Ms. Budaqova told him to be careful. He told her that the day before her call, about 20 Azeri soldiers were killed in Fizuli, a district that Azerbaijan claimed. Mr. Budaqov was going there to help protect the area before their bodies could be recovered.

While artillery fire was raining, he was caught in a crossfire. A bullet severed an artery in his leg and he bled, his mother said.

She and her sister mourn her loss in the living room, which also serves as a sanctuary for Mr. Budaqov. Posters with his picture are hung on the gate and outside bars, something that other families who lost children in the war also do. The inside walls are covered with photo collages from when he was a child and when he joined the army. His image adorns the face of a wall clock, which hangs next to one of his first army uniforms.

He was not afraid to go to the front, Budaqova said, adding that she believes the war was worth it if Azerbaijan recovered the lost lands.

“But if my son was still here, it would be much better,” she said.

Write to Ann M. Simmons at [email protected]