Since we knew that Matthew McConaughey would star in a Doritos commercial in the Super Bowl as a completely two-dimensional human being, we wondered what the reasoning behind such an artifice might be. And after last night’s revelation of the full announcement during the first quarter of the game, we can confirm that team editor Lillian Stone nailed it: the premise revolved around the return of 3D Doritos, with Flat Matthew McConaughey regaining his normal body dimensions after taking a bite out of the geometric, airy snack. The problem? He turns 3D while trapped in a vending machine. A true level of Homer Simpson snack-related accident.
Members of The Takeout the team is divided with the Flat Matthew phenomenon. First, as pointed out by associate editor Aimee Levitt, it must be Flat Matt, not Flat Matthew. What a missed opportunity. But, in addition, the fact that this thin and delicate character covered with the face of an actor that we normally know in a more corporeal context was disturbing. Amazing. Unstable (in the literal sense). Below, we engage in a civilized discussion about the pros and cons of creating Doritos Flat Matthew.
Marnie Shure, editor in chief: My biggest problem with the presumption of this ad is not that it revolves around a typically handsome actor who was horrible to look at. Instead, we are not given basic information that I consider crucial. “Lately, I haven’t felt much like myself,” says McConaughey when he sees the fabric shape on the canvas. “Life used to be … more fulfilling.” I understand that it is parallel to the 3D nature of these Doritos, but I am distracted by this configuration: why Matthew is unhappy? How did he get to a state where only vending machine snacks can save him? I was overflowing with worry, not to mention the bodily horror involved.
Team editor Lillian Stone: I am against this. Matt is just too boring. McConaughey already seems like the kind of guy who loves jovial antics, like jumping out of a dark corner onto his assistant or gluing hand-made bananas on set. Flathew is painted as a tragic figure, but I have a feeling that he abuses his slender strength for really strange antics. How to slide through the slats of a public toilet and shout, “Someone CRAPPIN ‘?”
Aimee Levitt, associate editor: Maybe when you are in a state of total boredom, you have no energy or imagination for crazy hijinks? Except for breaking into a vending machine, I think. Perhaps because it is a gray and snowy Monday in February, this ad spoke to me on some level. Yes, only fat and salt can save us!
Allison Robicelli, staff writer: Not even close to the strangest McConaughey shit I’ve ever seen.
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