When the Masked Dancer The Super Six (semifinalists in Groups A and B) competed together for the first time on Wednesday, Hammerhead was looking for blood. But he just couldn’t beat the more advanced bipedal skaters like Tulip, Cotton Candy and Sloth. Apparently, this shark boy is better at going to the gym, sunbathing and washing clothes than in the Latin ballroom, so his dance skills didn’t translate much beyond the Karma dance floor.
So, in case you didn’t notice, Hammerhead was revealed to be a resident of Jersey Shore. But only resident panelist vibeologist Paula Abdul guessed that this eccentric character was the tameest cast member on the MTV reality show, Vinny Guadagnino; everyone else thought it was Pauly D or the Situation. (Interestingly, no one guessed that Hammerhead was “stubborn” Ronnie Ortiz-Magro.)
It seems that Paula was paying special attention to this season’s clues: the history of Hammerhead’s talk show, her love of painting, her childhood dream of becoming a lawyer, etc. Maybe she was the only one Masked dancer judge who actually saw Vinny play a character named Joe Conte in a B movie called Jersey Shore shark attack. Or maybe she was the only judge who saw Vinny shake things up at Vegas Chippendales a few years ago. Whatever the reason, Paula is clearly the MVP for this panel – even though she changed her hunch from Hammerhead this Wednesday to David Dobrik.
Sorry, Vinny. Taxis are here and it’s time to go. It’s also time for a T-shirt, apparently, because you won’t need that sturdy shark outfit anymore. But let’s assess the remaining five mysterious celebrity contestants and find out which one is most worthy of a punch:
Cotton candy
This fun and fearless routine of swing dancing, complete with a beautiful bumper car entrance, was bursting with high energy, high confidence and high Rockette style kicks. Her well-executed stage moves, which also included some gravity-defying lifts and a seemingly double backward curve, once again indicated that this sweet girl is a trained professional (a dancer, an athlete or both). “You brought your best game. You define what The masked dancer is all about, ”said Judge Ken Jeong.
The clues: She “knows the competition well”, even though some “haters” in her past claim she doesn’t know how to dance. The visual cues include five rings and five golden balloons. Responding to the new round of “Rapid Fire” questions from the judges, Cotton Candy confessed that ice “plays a role” in her life, that she has “many tights” at home and cannot do her daily job in high heels. In previous episodes, she revealed that she was “free” from normal childhood activities and is a “team player”.
Judges’ guesses: Tara Lipinski, Jennifer Lopez, Kristi Yamaguchi, Gabby Butler, Jenna Dewan, Simone Biles.
My guess: With all the Olympic and icy tracks we receive week after week, I have to follow my hunch that this is Tara Lipinski. She is really looking for gold this season; those haters who once criticized their dancing skills can occupy several places.
The exotic bird
This beautiful creature took her sweet time, savoring every moment of her sexy Lewis Capaldi and Jessie Reyez “Rush” dance, looking more engaged and more comfortable on her (feathered) skin than ever. Paula “acquired a sense of trust” not seen in Bird’s previous routines, and Judge Brian Austin Green said to her, “I think you’re more of a dancer than you are think you are. “And yet, even more people who hate negatives have been effectively silenced (Exotic Bird has also been ridiculed for its supposedly below average dance in the past).
The clues: Her life has changed since she “became a mother bird”, but she rediscovered her “sensual side” while competing in disguise. This week’s big visual tip was a rose tattoo, and Bird revealed that he modeled and starred in music videos and advertising campaigns. Track packs from previous episodes mentioned past illnesses, football, American apple pie, teen stardom, finding it “hard to breathe”, numbers 1 and 17, glitter, perfume, an “Best in 2007” expiration date and being provoked by a “big bird”.
Judges’ guesses: Kat Von D, Dita Von Teese, Amber Rose, Ashley Graham, Kate Upton.
My guess: I’m totally confident that this is Paula’s old man american idol friend, season 6 champion Jordin Sparks. Jordin is a relatively young mother; she is the daughter of NFL star Phillippi Sparks; was 17 when she won Idol in ’07; was in the movie Shine (hence the brightness); has its own fragrance line; it is an old plus size model of 1.50 m; had a hit # 1 with “No Air” (hence the “hard to breathe” tip); and fought against bleeding in the vocal cords and acute appendicitis. His recent single “Red Sangria” was his most sensual dance track, and if all that wasn’t enough to continue, his first single was called … wait … “Tattoo”.
The laziness
That “classic Hollywood jazz number” to “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head” really got things up. Preguiça exhibited the flexibility and agility of a young man, but he had the style and elegance of an old school artist. There was also his usual Vaudevillian aging self-deprecating shtick, while dramatically pretending to be breastfeeding two bad knees. “There is so much Broadway show on stage,” marveled Paula.
The clues: He is “not new to the dance floor”, he is family oriented, and his family is not in Los Angeles (where the show was recorded). Other tracks on Wednesday included 18 stars and elephants, while previous tracks included sports equipment, a Say anythingboombox style, a cruise ship, Joy, Disney and the phrases “bad boy”, “risked and jumped” and “protagonist”.
Judges’ guesses: Bradley Cooper, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen.
My guess: This really baffled me; I already imagined american idol-contest turned YouTube star, Todrick Hall and the legendary Van Halen singer David Lee Roth. Sloth’s hammy personality, physical comedy and Catskills skills totally give me Diamond Dave vibes, but dance skills are more Todrick-esque. I would really love for Sloth to be Roth (hey, that rhymes!), But I’m going to stay with the Disney fanatic and former cruise ship dancer Todrick for now.
The tulip
The florist returned “to some of the first dances she learned”, ballet, with this graceful routine with soundtrack by Ariana Grande. “I saw ballet training. … You are a born artist, ”said Paula. “You just raised the stakes even more,” ruled Judge Ashley Tisdale. I agree. While Preguiça can place a respectable third party, I think that in the end it will fall to Tulip against Cotton Candy in the finals. They are the obvious Super Two.
The clues: She really “never liked competing”, but being in the The masked dancer made her “fall in love with acting again”. The main visual cues were a “Masked Dancergram” account (indicating that she is a young social media specialist) and a “Second Annual Mother and Daughter Dance”. Previous clues included chalk, wreaths, the acronym “ALDC”, TikTok, acrobatics, Wicked, and the words “frozen” and “princess”.
Judges’ guesses: Sarah Hyland, Simone Biles (again?), Julianne Hough.
My guesses: After watching the tulip blossom on stage three times, I am feeling pretty safe in my assumption that she is a former acrobatic student of Dance Moms‘Abby Lee Dance Company (“ALDC”). This is probably Mackenzie Ziegler, who starred in the film Ice Princess Lily and like Dorothy in the holiday pantomime Wonderful jaguar winter, and has 15 million followers on Instagram and almost 20 million on TikTok.
The zebra
Making his second Latin routine of the season of “Mi Gente” by J Balvin and Willy William, this striped star was clearly in his element, exhibiting – as guest judge Whitney Cummings observed – “a comfort on stage that cannot be faked”. Brian noted that Zebra’s “incredible footwork” was the mark of a professional boxer.
The clues: He is “known for a hook”, acted and performed music, and the main visual cues this week were “KO” and a graham cracker followed by the letter E (as in “Grammy”). Previous clues included a sports medal, cinnamon, charity endeavors, the word “champion” and a mention that the zebra is a “ZEO”
Judges’ guesses: LL Cool J, Oscar De La Hoya, Floyd Mayweather.
My guess: Last week, I guessed Mayweather, but this week’s Grammy track sealed the deal for me: Now I to know it’s De La Hoya. Believe it or not, Oscar De La Hoya’s 2000 self-titled Latin pop album, which had songs written by Diane Warren and the Bee Gees, was nominated for a Grammy Award. No wonder Oscar is so comfortable doing Latin dance on this show.
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