Demi Lovato says she was sexually abused and “left to die” by the drug dealer who handed her a dangerous cocktail of heroin and other drugs the night she suffered an almost fatal overdose three years ago.
The “Heart Attack” singer recalls how she was forced to face what happened when she woke up in the hospital after the incident and doctors asked if she had had consensual sex.
“I remembered him lying on top of me, so I said, ‘yes’,” says Lovato in his YouTube documentary series, “Dancing With the Devil”.
She says she soon realized, however, that because of her drunken state on the night of the near-tragedy in July 2018, she was in no position to agree to sex.
“It was only a month after my overdose that I realized, ‘Hey, you weren’t in the mood to make a consensual decision,'” she recalls. “This type of trauma does not last overnight.”
Lovato, 28, admits that after her overdose, she relapsed once again.
“I wish I could say that the last night I touched heroin was the night of my overdose, but it wasn’t,” she says, explaining that she wanted to have “the power back” from her drug dealer, whom she didn’t. name, after he allegedly assaulted her.
“I wanted to rewrite your choice to rape me,” she explains. “I wanted it to be my choice now, and he also had something I wanted, which was drugs. I ended up getting high. “
As part of a mistaken plan to get “the energy back” after a week-long intensive traumatic retreat, she even called the drug dealer who attacked her and said to him, “I’m going to fuck you.”
Lovato says he regretted doing this because he realized that, after his relapse, he had hit rock bottom.
“I thought, ‘How did I get the same drugs that put me in the hospital?’”, She recalls. “I was mortified by my decisions.”
Now sober because of the drugs that put her in the hospital, Lovato says in the docuseries – and in a cover story for the March issue of Elle – she is not entirely restricted to marijuana or alcohol.
“I learned that closing the door on things makes me want to open it even more,” she says. “I know I’m sick of the things that are going to kill me … but I wish I could get some relief, maybe like weed or something, right?”