Demi Lovato’s new documentary on YouTube, Dancing with the Devil, reveals some painful confessions from the pop star about her battle with substance abuse and eating disorders, her 2018 overdose and her experiences with sexual violence. With just two days left for the four-part series – which just debuted on SXSW – to make its debut on March 23, the former Disney Channel star is opening for CBS Sunday Morning about his recovery and finally find joy.
As CBS correspondent Tracy Smith noted, this is not the first time Lovato, 28, has talked about overcoming addiction and eating disorders. In a 2016 interview with Smith, Lovato talked about being thankful that he is still alive. But just two years later, in July 2018, the singer had a near-fatal overdose, triggering a heart attack and three strokes, of which Lovato says he still suffers from vision and hearing problems.
Speaking to the 28-year-old at his home in Los Angeles, Smith asked Lovato about the disconnect between his 2016 quotes and the ongoing struggles against addiction.
“I’ve been sober for many years, but I’m still miserable,” Lovato explained of his 2016 mentality. “And then, of course, no matter how you are feeling at that moment, you mean, ‘Yes, I’m fine’ because I’m in in front of a camera, I’m giving an interview. the first time in my life, I essentially had to die to wake up. “
She added that, despite being sober at the time of her 2016 interview, things were not so perfect behind the scenes.
“I didn’t control anything in my life at that time,” Lovato shared “But, yes, I also needed to grow and take control. And this is something I did not do until the last two years of my life, which I am now in control of my finances. Now I’m in control of the food I eat, how often I work out.
“Obviously, I was in control of what I put in my mouth,” she clarified, “but there were times when phones were taken out – in fact, every time I was in a hotel room, my phone was taken out of the room, so I couldn’t order room service. “
But Lovato refused to blame others.
“Regardless of what other people may have said or done, my actions put me in the seat in front of you today,” she told Smith. “Unfortunately, no one can answer for my overdose but me.”
The interview also touched on Lovato’s preferred form of recovery: moderation rather than complete sobriety. The Texan native still likes some alcohol and marijuana. In her documentary, she explains: “I am sick of the things that are going to kill me. Telling myself that I will never be able to drink or smoke marijuana, I feel that I am preparing for failure.”
In conversation with Smith, Lovato explained that he hesitates to speak openly about his “sober California” approach, which has sparked some criticism that he is not rigorous enough, including from former addict Elton John, who appears in Dancing with the Devil. Lovato also expressed reservations that his moderation endorsement could influence fans.
“I would say that I think the term I identify with best is sober California,” Lovato told Smith, adding: “I really don’t feel comfortable explaining the parameters of my recovery to people, because I don’t want anyone to look at the my security parameters and think this is what works for them. Because it may not work.
“I am careful to say that, just as I feel that the method of complete abstinence is not a single solution for everyone, I don’t think that this moderation journey is a unique solution for everyone. For everyone, too.”
Lovato also spoke about his emotional return at the 2020 Grammy, saying to Smith, “I didn’t know if I would ever step on a stage again.”
Despite her encounter with death – “the doctors told me I had five to 10 minutes … if no one had found me, then I wouldn’t be here”, she revealed – the singer and actress is confident that she manifested stronger and happier.
“I feel so good,” shared Lovato, who has become more vocal about his mental health and sexuality in recent years. “I feel more joy in life than I ever have, because I am not calming or diminishing any part of myself.”
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