DEAR ABBY: I have a 22 year old daughter from my first marriage and a 9 year old son with my 12 year old husband. My husband is 57 years old and I just turned 41. I would like to have another child, mainly because I want my 9 year old son to have someone to grow up with. We have no other family. It’s just him and his cousins, 9 and 5 years old. Can you tell me if my husband and I are doing well or if we are too old to have another child? – CONSIDERING IN THE WEST
WANTED CONSIDERING: I’m glad you wrote it. This is something that should be discussed later with your husband to make sure that you are on the same page and also with your obstetrician.
If your intention is for your children to grow up together, this should have happened years ago. As it stands, the 10-year difference will mean that your child will grow up and die while your youngest child is still at home.
A doctor with a specialty in genetics can be helpful in gathering information. It is important that you understand what precautions should be taken before making this decision.
DEAR ABBY: I have this dilemma. I am a woman in her 40s with a good job and I am told that I am a good match. About six months ago, I went to live with a man I will call Peter. It all started as a roommate, but then he became a friend of benefits. We both agree that we are not a couple.
The problem is that Peter has a friend, “Reggie”. I like Reggie and he likes me. We went out as a group several times. As far as I know, Reggie has no idea that Peter and I are FWBs.
Reggie recently asked me out to dinner. I can see myself having a real relationship with him, but I don’t know how Peter is going to react. Should I accept the invitation? I mean, it’s just a date. Also, should I mention this to Peter? – FWB IN THE SOUTH
DEAR FWB: You and Peter agreed that you are NOT a couple. Accept Reggie’s offer and be frank with Peter about it. The only thing that can change is that Peter will have to find another friend with benefits, because the sexual aspect of his relationship with him may be over.
DEAR ABBY: I care a lot about what friends, family – even the general public – do with their money. Specifically, I promote the benefits of owning a home, but I suspect that my efforts to educate them may need a more loving approach. I just don’t want the people I care about to throw money away at the owners. Do I need to be more loving and supportive than educating? – COMMUNITY HELPER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR HELP: People generally have good reasons to rent instead of buying. If you keep repeating your advice and it is falling on deaf ears, it is fair to conclude that your message is not being appreciated. A saying widely attributed to Albert Einstein is: “Insanity is to continue to repeat an action indefinitely, but expecting different results”. You can volunteer to serve as an advisor, but only if these people want to make a change and ask for your help.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Get in touch with Abby guy at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.