DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 19 years. A few years ago, I learned about my husband’s platonic relationship with his ex-girlfriend. She lives in a different state and is married.
My husband has long conversations with her every day about everything, including our sex life. I confronted him and asked him to end their relationship because knowing that he wants me to do something in bed because his friend does that bothers me a lot. He promised at the time that he would no longer speak or talk to her, and I trusted him.
A few weeks ago, I found out that he still talks to her every day and changed her name on his contact list to hide his relationship. I feel betrayed and I want to end this marriage. Please help me. I don’t want to take a wrong step. – BETRAYED IN FLORIDA
DEAR TREATED: A couple’s sex life should be private. Her husband and his supposedly Platonic “friend” betrayed their spouses’ trust. The fact that he expects you to do something in bed that he knows she is doing is to replace your body with hers and, frankly, that seems like another form of cheating. Hiding her name in his contact file shows that he has no intention of ending the relationship.
You feel betrayed because you have been betrayed. It will continue as long as you allow it. As you are afraid to take a wrong step, start silently gathering all the financial information you can and talk to several lawyers before deciding which one will work harder to protect your interests and proceed from there.
DEAR ABBY: Due to the closure of schools by COVID, my employer is now allowing staff to bring their children to work if there is no alternative day care center. I bring my 8 year old son and I have seen many other children out there. Most of them are well behaved and do not cause problems.
However, we have a new employee, “Michelle”, who started bringing her 4 year old son with her. The child, I’ll call her Autumn, is in the mother’s office, but she speaks so loudly that she can be heard throughout the building! I thought that certainly Michelle would close the office door and contain Autumn’s “cheerful” voice within her own area, but she seems perfectly happy to let her daughter make as much noise as she wants.
I do not understand this. Other parents ensure that their children behave and act appropriately. What can I do to let Michelle and my supervisor know that although she can bring her child with her, it is still her responsibility to ensure that the child is not creating a distraction? – TIRED OF NOISE
DEAR TIRED WITH NOISE: I don’t think it’s wise to talk about it with Michelle, which will certainly leave you on the defensive. However, you must inform your supervisor that, as Michelle’s door has been left open, your daughter’s “cheerful” voice is creating a distraction. If it is causing a problem for you, it is likely that you are doing the same with other employees and reducing productivity.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Abby guy at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.