A seemingly unbearable sadness paralyzed Matt Mauser after his wife, Christina, died almost a year ago from the helicopter accident in Calabasas that also claimed the lives of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and six others. His witty, strong and talented companion, the mother of his three children and the life they shared, disappeared in an instant tragedy.
After bouts of depression and many tears, Mauser turned to what he does best – music – to help him deal with the situation. The words flowed from his heart.
Lost, like a boat in the sea, I was thrown and taken for a walk because you are not by my side.
Mauser said that writing and interpreting songs like “Lost” allowed him to express his pain and provided a much needed buoy amidst the suddenly stormy seas of his life.
“It just helps in the healing process,” said Mauser, 50, recently in a telephone interview. “There is no easy solution. Not a single thing you do will make it easier to lose your wife and your children’s mother. It just doesn’t happen. It will take some time. ”
The Huntington Beach resident and talented artist has sailed the storm since that fateful and foggy morning on Sunday, January 26, 2020.
Christina, 38, a prominent basketball and volleyball player at Edison High, balanced motherhood as Bryant’s primary assistant coach on her highly competitive eighth-grade women’s basketball team, the Mambas.
She boarded a helicopter with Bryant, her daughter and six other people bound for a basketball game at Thousand Oaks. The flight included Gianna’s teammates, Alyssa Altobelli and Payton Chester, her parents John and Keri Altobelli and Sarah Chester, and pilot Ara Zobayan. John Altobelli was the baseball coach at Orange Coast College.
The group never made it to the gym. The Sikorsky S-76 helicopter crashed in the hills of Calabasas, killing everyone on board. The probable cause of the accident is expected to be announced by the National Transportation Safety Board on February 9.
The accident sent shock waves around the world and rocked several Southern California communities and families.
“Life is definitely different,” said Mauser. “I knew I had an incredible and incredible wife.”
While Christina was handpicked by Bryant, Mauser also worked for the legend of the Lakers.
The vocalist of the popular Tijuana Dogs and Sinatra Big Band, he wrote the song for Bryant’s children’s podcast called “The Punies”. The pair worked on two seasons of the show.
“It was a lot of work and really honed my writing skills,” said Mauser, whose voice sounds similar to Frank Sinatra’s. “I give Kobe a lot of credit and appreciation. He put my feet on the fire and forced me to challenge myself as a musician and composer. ”
But Mauser’s main job today is to play Mr. Mother for his own children: Penny, 12, Tom, 10 and Ivy, 4.
There is the daily challenge of learning at a distance and comforting children who not only miss their mother, but also their school friends. Mauser, a former aquatic athlete and trainer at Edison, fights obstacles with many hugs and presence in their lives.
Above all, he tries to follow his wife’s example.
“I just try to live the life that Christina would like us to live,” he said. “Children are the priority.”
Mauser said his children are “doing well” and understandably are experiencing moments of sadness.
“We fight for every drop of happiness and we are learning to enjoy life,” he said. “Life is to be lived, and life is beautiful, despite all the things we’ve been through and what everyone has been through.
“You should find joy in life. There were people who were lower than us, with no options, nothing, and still have a smile. ”
The family also faced the frightening reality of the pandemic. Mauser said he and his children were infected with the coronavirus, but recovered in about two weeks. “It was very difficult,” he said, “but we managed to overcome it.”
When it comes to healing your heart, Mauser relies on his music. The pandemic has interrupted opportunities for live performances, but he continues to write songs dedicated to his wife.
“The most therapeutic thing for me was to write and get my music back,” he said. “I haven’t been able to do that for about a month and a half, two months. I just couldn’t move … But then, one morning, I woke up and said: ‘I have to start writing’ ”.
Mauser will mark the anniversary of the helicopter crash on Tuesday with a private fund-raising concert benefiting the Christina Mauser Foundation. The show will be broadcast on mattmauser.com at 5 pm PST and will feature a Sinatra-style show and a special guest appearance by singer Frank Stallone.
Penny will present the song “Green Bike”, which has a special meaning for the Mauser family. Penny, who played basketball on a lower division team with the Mambas, was scheduled to board the helicopter that morning, but because she had been sick the previous week and was going to perform “Green Bike” that night at Brea Improv, the family kept their House.
“It’s the reason why she wasn’t on that helicopter either,” said Mauser of the song. “It’s hard to think about it, but it’s the truth.”
The Christina Mauser Foundation has partnered with the Rose Bowl Institute and aims to support single mothers and women and girls in sport through scholarships and financial aid.
Mauser plans to continue sharing his journey sadly. He believes that pain, at some point, connects everyone who has loved someone.
“There is no class on how to go through this, so you just need to trust people who have gone through it,” he said. “If I can help people overcome grief, if I can pass on any knowledge I have learned from this process, this is where God put me and that is what I feel I must do.”
And so, Mauser writes and sings. Hey, much more I wanted to say, it should hurt and, oh, how it hurt, when what’s left is what’s been lost