It turns out that you may be asking yourself the wrong question. Here’s what you should know about dreams – and why it looks like you’re not having any.
Where do dreams come from, anyway?
“Dreams are flashes of images, sounds and memories that happen during sleep,” said New York sleep psychologist Joshua Tal, PhD. “Science has found no definitive reason for dreams, but dreams seem to be controlled by emotional and memory parts of the brain, indicating that they help with emotional regulation and memory consolidation. ” This explains why some dreams can be totally bizarre and include a myriad of memories and emotions.
The underlying messages of dreams can also be useful in processing your feelings. “When a client tells me he had the ‘weirdest dream’ and shares the details, my first question is, ‘How did you feel during the dream?’” Says psychotherapist Jennifer Hoskins-Tomko, LCSW, owner of Clarity Health Solutions in Jupiter, Florida. “While the details are interesting and often symbolic of other things, it is the emotional content that gives me insight into how to help my client or how he is trying to help himself through dreams.” Recurring dreams can also help you understand what is stressing you in real life.
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Alex Dimitriu, MD, with dual certification in psychiatry and sleep medicine and founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry and Sleep Medicine, adds that dreams are most likely the brain’s way of working with problems, past events, as well as planning for the future. “Dreams allow us to connect loose concepts and ideas and can also be a source of creativity and ingenuity,” he says. “They can also be a form of self-therapy, as the brain is able to process experiences and emotions and make sense of life’s events.” He says there has also been a recent spike in research that supports the belief that dreams are a type of psychedelic experience, which explains why dreams are powerful in healing and emotional growth. “Interestingly, the dream brain looks a lot like the psychedelic brain,” he says. “Both are able to make loose connections and come up with creative solutions.”
Okay, so why don’t I have dreams?
Sleep stages occur in cycles throughout the night, and dreams often happen during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. “It involves intense brain and eye activity,” says Dr. Tal. “Your muscle tone turns off during REM sleep, so you don’t act out your dreams.”
If you wake up in the morning without having dreamed, think again. “Most people are having dreams, but they don’t remember them,” says Dr. Tal. “You have a better chance of remembering your dream when you wake up in REM sleep, but if you are not paying attention to your dreams, you are less likely to remember them.” In other words, most of the time, it is a question of not remembering versus a question of not dreaming.
There are exceptions, of course. You may be one of the few people who don’t really dream. The reason, Tal says, is that REM sleep is disrupted by a substance (like alcohol or marijuana), medication (like antidepressants) or a mental health problem like depression.
If you don’t remember your dreams in series, this can be a sign of sleep apnea, a condition in which the throat muscles relax during sleep, causing breathing pauses, thereby interrupting sleep. “Apneas are greater during REM sleep, when your muscles naturally shut down,” says Dr. Tal. “So, if you are not dreaming, it could be a sign that the quality of your sleep is being impaired by respiratory events.”
One more thing to note: the quality of sleep does not depend on dreams. So, if you wake up without remembering your dreams, it does not necessarily mean that the quality of your sleep is not noteworthy.
How to remember your dreams
To recap: if you’re in the “why don’t I have dreams?” camp, you probably don’t remember them. But don’t be afraid, there are some science-based strategies to help you remember your dreams better – and everything they are trying to tell you.
1. Write them down
The best way to remember your dreams when you wake up is to start writing them as soon as you open your eyes. Dr. Tal recommends keeping a dream diary by the bed and writing a detailed description while the dream is fresh.
2. Talk about your dreams out loud
If you are not a journalist or are always in a hurry in the morning, Tomko suggests telling someone like your partner about your dream when you wake up or even recording a quick voice note on your phone.
3. Increase the quality of your sleep
“Sleep quality affects your ability to achieve REM,” says Tomko. Therefore, if your sleep quality is poor, you are less likely to have dreams. “Since sleep is always good, some people are able to realize that they are dreaming – this is called lucid dreaming and it may be possible to learn from practice,” says Dr. Dimitriu.
According to Dr. Dimitriu, there are many factors that can contribute to poor quality sleep, including:
- Looking at the screens before bed and just after waking up
- Going to sleep and waking up at different times every day
- Consume drugs or alcohol very close to bedtime
How to improve your sleep quality
It is one thing to know that you must improve your sleep quality; something else entirely to do. Here are some suggestions from experts to try to make it really work.
1. Create a pre-bed ritual
To make your sleep as effective as possible, create a pre-bed ritual of, say, a hot bath, meditation and a diffuser that releases relaxing aromas. As irregular bedtime also affects your quality of sleep, it is a good idea to start the ritual before going to sleep at the same time each night.
2. Keep a sleep diary
Keep a sleep diary (slightly different from your dream diary) so you can adjust your routine and find the best one for you. Dr. Tal suggests that you write down every day how different factors (like the darkness of the room, the temperature of the room and whether the sheets are cold) affect your sleep or not. Make sure to include it when you go to bed and wake up, it can also affect the quality of sleep, says Dr. Tal. For example, if you were up late the night before and usually aren’t, this can disrupt your schedule. Other factors to be registered are substances, drugs, medical health, chronic pain, stress and mental health.
3. Use sleep technology to assess your sleep patterns
If you really want to raise sleep quality (and have some extra money to spend), investing in sleep technology can also be useful. There are a variety of cool gadgets available, such as the Apple Watch ($ 380) and the Oura Ring ($ 300), which record different statistics, including your heart rate, body temperature and how many hours of sleep you had each night.
4. Sleep with your birthday suit
One of the easiest (and sexy?) Ways to improve your sleep quality is to get rid of pajamas and sleep naked. “Being naked keeps the person cooler and avoids rubbing the skin [and the] stacking up sleepwear, ”Felice Gersh, MD, an obstetrician / gynecologist and founder of the Integrative Medical Group in Irvine, previously told Well + Good.
5. Have a snack before bed
When you have trouble sleeping, making a healthy snack at bedtime can help calm you down. The key is to keep it light and small. Peanut butter, bananas and Greek yogurt are perfect examples.
6. Use aromatherapy
Dreamy scents (no pun intended) can also help to relax your body and mind and sleep better. Aromatherapist Amy Galper’s top scent recommendations include sage, lavender, rose, chamomile, frankincense and, surprisingly, her partner’s scent.
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