The world is not yet completely safe, but vaccinated people whose states have been reopened to some extent may find themselves in a strange and stressful environment.
People with obsessive-compulsive disorder and cleansing rituals, traumas or anxiety disorders may have a particular difficulty in reheating.
“What was familiar no longer seems so familiar,” said Lynn Bufka, senior director of transformation and quality of practice at the American Psychological Association. “For almost a year now, we’ve been receiving messages of not being with others, of being distant … then the idea that, ‘Oh, there are ways to be with others and it’s okay’ – this is new information for reconcile. So it’s understandable that it looks different, at least, if it’sn’t anxiety-provoking or stressful. ”
Anxiety can serve as a warning about situations in which we must pay attention and be careful, Bufka added. These are the experiences and places that can cause apprehension as the world reopens and the experts’ tips for dealing with them.
Visual contact
If you are distancing yourself socially at home, it is likely that the only people with whom you have made eye contact lately are your housemates, cashiers, and co-workers through a screen.
In a future without masks, “you may want to look down because you’re scared,” said Jane Webber, assistant professor of educational guidance and coordinator of the doctoral program at Kean University in New Jersey. “Generally, just eye contact and a little smile that I call the ‘Mona Lisa smile’ fill people on the other side with a really good feeling. They will reflect what you do.”
Eye contact is the easiest interaction to begin with because it reintroduces us to connect and show that we care, said Webber, who teaches about trauma, stress and coping skills.
Stand among crowds
If you recently watched a movie shot before the pandemic, any crowd scene is likely to look a little strange. Although we are still far from large meetings, you will soon be able to see yourself getting closer to supermarkets or mass transit.
As a psychologist, a “protective space circle” is something that Webber taught students. “Let’s put a rope or ribbon on the floor and (ask), ‘How big a circle do you need to feel safe in a crowd?’ Most people will say, ‘I need some space in front of me or on the sides of my body’. “
After deciding how much space you need, strategically use your elbows or legs or an object – such as a shopping bag or grocery cart – to create it. When you need people to respect your limits, tell them kindly, “I just need a little more space.”
If you panic, Webber suggested that you focus on your breathing and say to yourself, “I’m going to get out of this in a few minutes.” Move slowly with the crowd and towards the perimeters until you find space.
Shaking hands and hugging
“We are social people,” said Webber. “You (can) reach out and then pull your hand back, and we tell people that it’s a natural feeling.”
If you feel anxious right now, waving or hitting your elbows is OK, said Webber. “Let people know that you’re still a little nervous,” she added. “In doing so, we establish a connection and they (will) empathize.”
The idea of a hug can be even more frightening. At the same time, in this year of social detachment, we have become “hungry for connections,” said Webber. But now is not the time to embrace everyone you see. If you or someone outside your home you care about is craving the warmth of the affectionate touch, give yourself a “butterfly” hug by wrapping your arms around yourself, tapping each shoulder and “sending” it to that person . If someone leans in for a hug, gently express your concerns and initiate a butterfly hug.
Flirting or being invited to a date
If you are getting coffee and someone asks for a date, your brain may be searching your memory to find out how you should respond to such an unknown request.
You can take it slow if you’re not ready, said Bufka. Suggest that the two of you start by exchanging phone numbers and then move on to virtual meetings.
New intimate relationships
Moving from flirting to the first date can seem like a lost art. In addition, the pandemic may have added some unusual questions to your list to get to know you: Was this person vaccinated? What does she think of the vaccine and Covid-19 masks? How did she behave during the pandemic? Is she asymptomatic?
These questions are exactly what you should ask to know if your love interest shares your values and if you want the relationship to go further, said Bufka. Your peer responses would indicate whether you agree on the level of risk, what precautions to take and which risks are OK.
Approach the conversation gently, humbly and without judgment, advised Bufka. Share what behaviors you have been trying to prioritize during the pandemic and why, and that you are curious to know what your boyfriend did. If you are thinking of being serious, “being able to have a conversation like this is something you would like to be able to do,” added Bufka.
If you are nervous about physical intimacy, acknowledge that everything is fine. “Like, ‘God, I haven’t kissed anyone in a year. I kind of forgot how to do that. ‘ You can take it a little more carefree, “said Bufka. If you haven’t been vaccinated yet, be honest and say you don’t want to risk her health.
Sharing public spaces
You are sitting on a bench when someone else asks you to sit next to you. Should you leave them? If you don’t, what will the other person think of you?
Before these situations, you can rehearse by saying something like, “‘Sorry, I’m not vaccinated yet. I prefer to keep my distance,'” said Bufka. If you have been vaccinated, you may wonder what your concerns are and whether they are still realistic, according to current health guidelines.
Sharing objects to help other people
If someone asked you to start his car, you would probably like to help him. But you should, and who will do it if you don’t?
Change the situation to make it more comfortable, said Jacqueline Gollan, who has two professorships at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago: one in psychiatry and behavioral sciences and the other in obstetrics and gynecology.
“Take small steps to control your anxiety, socialize and mitigate the real risk,” said Gollan by email. You can have hand sanitizer and masks readily available for these situations. “If you can’t reduce your anxiety, see if you can change your negative predictions by taking your anxiety ‘to court’. Evaluate the data that suggest (if) you have a high probability of becoming ill during vaccination. ”
Cosmetic and spa services
Imagine this: the pandemic is finally over and you would love to relax with a massage. However, there is only one problem: cosmetic and spa services may not be as relaxing, even on the difficult side of a pandemic.
Asking the company what precautions it has taken – and going elsewhere if it doesn’t meet your standards – is OK.
Getting back to work
Those of us who still work from home have been able to do our own thing in terms of how and where we work. We don’t have to worry about finding people and the risk of Covid-19.
Upon returning to the office, what can be most frightening is the loss of control over your bubble and health routine, said Ravi S. Gajendran, chairman of the global leadership and management department at Florida International University and an associate professor at the College of Business. You may no longer be used to ironing clothes, being visible below the shoulders and interacting in person.
What you can do is accept that the transition will be scary, disturbing and slow, said Gajendran. Focus on being prepared for what you can control, including carrying hand sanitizer and wearing a mask.
Be aware that office work is likely to be different than it was before the pandemic, as some companies have implemented seating arrangements or applications to record Covid-19 symptoms. If your workplace has not established clear safety policies, tell your supervisor about your concerns, said Kristen Shockley, associate professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. A standards-setting organization “creates a common and shared understanding,” she added. “And those people who may feel more cautious do not think it is strange to have to communicate that.”
Overall, “take a break,” said Gajendran. Those of us who have remained in most of the pandemic may feel strange and anxious to readjust to society, but we are in the same boat and we can (safely) help each other to overcome this.