Zack Snyder’s cut Justice League is finally available for broadcast on HBO Max, and although the angry fans who helped make it happen may have been prepared for the 4: 3 format, many people were a little surprised when they pressed play today.
Listen, I was a fan of The Wire. I understand. Artistic vision and everything. But a 4: 3 aspect ratio just doesn’t fit with most modern devices. So I’ve put together five videos that make the most of most phones, tablets and TVs optimized for wide screen. Use them as a palate cleanser when you’re done with the Snyder Cut or as a visual release valve when you inevitably pause the four-hour version of Justice League. The world is your banana.
1. This video of Banana orbiting the Earth at the same distance from the International Space Station
This video is a few years old, but like all good internet debris, it was captured by the hangover of the World Wide Web and resurfaced this week. It visualizes a simple premise: what if the Banana was at the same distance from the ISS? As Obi-Wan Kenobi said the famous phrase: “This is not a moon”. Of course not, Obi-wan. And we know that because we can see the Banana on a beautiful widescreen high definition screen.
2. This documentary about the fragility of the environment
The Anthropocene has done terrible things to the environment, certainly, but we same it would be lost if a banana the size of North America orbited just 250 miles above Earth. This document cleverly uses the widescreen format to help viewers imagine the abject terror they can feel as they look on in wonder at the Banana as tsunami sirens sound in the distance. It also stands out in OLEDs.
3. This art film about a child losing his banana
They say that loss is nothing but change and that change is nature’s delight. I say not to lessen someone’s personal pain, regardless of age. Be sure to watch this on a backlit screen.
4. This 90-second Ad Council announcement about how bananas are, botanically, a berry
Wait, I’m sorry, what? A berry?
I mean…
Look, I’m not going to argue with a banana this big. Just, like … wow.
5. And for those who still need their DC Universe fix, this bold reboot of Superman, in which Banana orbits the Earth at a speed large enough to go back in time, thus erasing humanity from existence.
The sound of the wind really does that for me, if I’m being honest.