If the world is ending, who do you want by your side?
Nancy Townsend chose Herb Thomas, a man she met for lunch in early March, with whom she did FaceTimed later that month, had dinner (outdoors) in April and became engaged the week after Easter. They were married on September 6 at Harriet Wetherill Park in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania.
“We felt we had no time to lose,” said Townsend, 66, a half-retired widowed Salvation Army officer.
She and everyone else, apparently.
Getting a coveted marriage license during the Great Pandemic has become more difficult than it used to be to get toilet paper, as singles have been grabbing the person next to them and clinging to them for better or worse.
Getting a marriage license in New York is now done through the Cupid Project, which involves filling out papers online and trying to get a virtual appointment (new ads are launched on Thursdays at 9 am).
Historically, frightening and stressful times have led to rising marriage rates. After Hurricane Hugo, in South Carolina, marriage rates increased in areas affected by the hurricane (previously, these numbers tended to decline). After the 9/11 attacks, the rate of marriages has not changed, but couples were less willing to divorce; the number of couples in New York who filed for divorce decreased by 32%. It was a similar situation in Japan after the 2011 tsunami.
ANXIOUS TO GET MARRIED
The pandemic is no different. According to an October Brides survey of 4,000 engaged couples, 82% said that living during the pandemic made them even more anxious to get married so they could weather this storm – and others – together. Fifty-five percent said the pandemic had changed their expectations about marriage and that they prioritized the relationship above anything else.
It’s not surprising, said Rebecca Haney, a licensed professional clinical advisor in Cincinnati. When you are afraid, anxious or overwhelmed, you feel out of control. Your body and mind are experiencing sensations that you don’t know how to control, said Haney.
“So, to make up for that feeling, people tend to find other ways to feel in control,” she said. “That’s why some people make big changes or important decisions in times of fear.”
Getting married during a pandemic appears to guarantee security and stability, said Nick Bognar, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Pasadena, California.
UNDER MAJOR DURESS
There is also the idea that if your relationship could survive the pandemic, it could survive anything. Couples were trapped in small spaces for months, under great pressure.
“This year has been the final test of a relationship, so I saw couples who come to me for an engagement ring and say, ‘Well, if we still love and respect each other after being confined for the worst nine months of our lives. , so we know he or she was the one, ‘”said Michelle Demaree, who helps couples buy engagement rings through her website, Miss Diamond Ring. Demaree said she had a 20% increase in the number of newlyweds who contacted her about buying engagement and wedding rings since the pandemic began.
“I saw some couples who met during the pandemic and haven’t known each other for a long time, but who are getting engaged now,” she said.
New Yorkers may have tried to get married during the pandemic, but many were unsuccessful, thanks to the delay in issuing marriage licenses in the city, combined with the attack by couples who wanted them.
Jocelyn Voo, a 38-year-old photographer at Everly Studios, tried to get an online wedding license in May in Manhattan, but the first interview she got was in September. She ended up getting married on November 6 on the front stairs of the New York Public Library.
“I didn’t want to put my life on hold,” said Voo.
LIMITING MARRIAGE LICENSES
In Yonkers, NY, where many New Yorkers rushed after hearing that marriage licensing was not equally supported, 70% more licenses were issued in 2020 than in 2019, said Vincent Spano, the registrar for the city of Yonkers. They are now limiting marriage licenses to emergency medical workers and those offering a “really good reason,” as Spano said they can barely keep up with Yonkers residents who want to get married.
Backups are being seen across the country.
In Little Rock, marriage licenses increased 28% at the end of March 2020 compared to the same period in 2019, said Terri Hollingsworth, the Pulaski County official.
“Everything was closing, and they didn’t care. They were in love. You just had to put on a mask,” said Hollingsworth.
Stacy Estep, a certified public accountant in Sugarland, Texas, was a pandemic bride. Estep said he always envisioned a large, traditional wedding, complete with a church ceremony, dancing and a massive reception followed by a long honeymoon in Hawaii and Bora Bora.
Instead, she welcomed 16 people at a ceremony and reception in September, and she and her husband went to Austin for a mini honeymoon.
“What became clear to us is that the important thing is that we get married,” said Estep. “It wasn’t about the big party or having 100 people around us. We didn’t want to wait and see more. We just wanted to get married.”