Morgan Wallen posted an apology video on his Instagram account, saying the reason for the delay was that he first wanted to make a personal apology and meet with black leaders before elaborating on the quick mea culpa he issued when the scandal over his racial slur it was breaking eight days ago.
“I decided to get off the grid for a while and get used to making good decisions,” he says in the statement. “Who knows if I will be able to live all the mistakes I made, but I will definitely try. I will spend some time regaining control of … living healthily and being proud of my actions.
“Finally, I have a favor to ask,” he says. “I thank those who still see something in me and defend me. But for today, please don’t. I was wrong. It is up to me to take responsibility for this and I fully accept the penalties I am facing. The moment of my return depends exclusively on me and the work I do. I still have a lot of really good people on my side trying to help me and I thank you more than you think. This whole situation is ugly now, but I will continue to look for ways to become an example instead of being one. “
Wallen said that when he started apologizing to TMZ, knowing that the site was about to publish his video saying the word with N to his friends, the combination of haste and editing did not help him much.
“I heard that the video was being posted on TMZ and I barely had time to think before it was released to the public,” he says. “I was asked if I wanted to apologize and of course I did. I wrote many detailed thoughts and only a part of them was used, which painted me even more carelessly. I am here to show you that this is not true. “
In addition to appearing to blame TMZ for abbreviating his first apology, Wallen is not to blame externally for any of his actions.
“The video you saw was me in 72 hours of a 72-hour bender, and that’s not something I’m proud of,” he says.
One thing he says he didn’t want to do is take a trip of apologies without sincerity.
“Obviously, the natural thing to do is to apologize more and continue to apologize – but because you were caught, and that’s not what I wanted to do. I disappointed so many people. … I disappointed my parents, and they are too far away from the person in that video. And I disappointed my son, and I’m not okay with that. So this week, I was waiting to say something else until I had a chance to apologize to the closest people I knew I personally hurt. “
Although it has not been clear so far whether Wallen accepted offers from Nashville NAACP or BeBe Winans to meet with him, Wallen now says he has met with black leaders, although he has not mentioned any names or organizations.
He says he “accepted some invitations from some incredible black organizations, executives and leaders to get involved in some very real and honest conversations. I admit that I was very nervous about accepting those invitations from the very people I hurt, and they had every right to step on my neck while I was down, not to show grace. But they did the exact opposite; they offered me grace. And they also combined that with an offer to learn and grow.
“And one thing I’ve already learned is that I’m specifically sorry that it matters – my words are important. Those words can really hurt a person, and at my core, I’m not okay with that. This week, I heard firsthand some personal stories from black people who honestly shook me. And I know that what I’m going through this week doesn’t even compare to some of the trials I heard from them. I left these discussions with a deep appreciation for them and a clearer understanding of the weight of my words. I would like the circumstances to be different for me to learn these things, but I am also happy to have started the process for me to do this. “
The country star says he’s been sober since the night the video was released – and recognizes that it still may not mean much on the scale of things.
“I want to end this update on a more positive note,” he said. “Since the video was made, I have been sober for nine days. It is not a long time, but it is enough to know that the man in that video is not the man I am trying to be. I had this week to think about the moments when I am sober and I am very proud of who I am and my actions, in most of those moments. When I look at the times when I am not, it seems that this is where most of my mistakes are made. “
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