I lied. Last week, I said I thought we were going to South Carolina on this trip, but I forgot that Drew still barely knows the other housewives. So, before we get to Cynthia’s pseudo-bachelorette party, sponsored by KenToya, Drew introduces himself and invites women to what looks like a refreshing party to say goodbye to his old home, and hopefully those “Love” and ” Faith “signs too. It is our first episode of the season centered on Drew and her first time as the host of an event for girls, which we all know is a right of way in the Housewives Cinematic Universe. It took seven episodes, but welcome to the show, Drew! Come in, the water is hot!
We started with Drew receiving another gift from her husband Ralph: “I’m sorry I left without a trace and went to Tampa, the capital of Stripper in the continental United States.” The present is an electric scooter, which is quite useful for Drew, considering that she just had surgery on the Achilles. Raise your hand if you remembered that Drew started this season with a leg brace because he just came out of surgery? Anyone? Bueller …? Yes, it was not registered for me either. What he really recorded was when Ralph said he bought the scooter for Drew because he saw that she was looking for it online. Ummmm Ralph doesn’t love using surveillance devices to track Drew’s whereabouts? I’m not going to lie, it’s giving me stalker-light vibes. Drew, I recommend that you start deleting your search history and start using an anonymous browser, which several sources have told me can be used for things other than pornography.
Speaking of pornography, KenToya went out for breakfast together. Kenya got ready for the occasion, serving the reality of Gertrude McFuzz in a navy blue feather blouse that is really doing its best. LaToya arrives without a mask, wearing a fun blazer and greeting Miss Moore, because it is with her that she has teamed up to stay on the show. There is a horrible, but perversely hilarious moment, when you see the full spectrum of COVID compliance, with LaToya without a mask, Kenya wearing one of those useless face masks and the poor masked waitress, just trying to do her job. COVID’s precarious precautions are always maddening in this program, but that spectrum was especially insane to watch. I sincerely hope that all waiters featured on the show (and also all waiters in general) will receive compensation and a free supply of Kenya Moore hair products for what they have had to put up with.
At lunch, Kenya reveals that she couldn’t take Marc Daly any longer and is (finally) ready to completely shut down the fire of a relationship. We are treated to a mini flashback scene starring Ken (ya) on the phone with his lawyer, furious as hell with certain restrictions that Marc has placed where she can and cannot go with her daughter Brooklyn. “He is irrational for no reason. So don’t tell me what I can do and what I can’t do with my child. ”Bravo, why are we seeing a sepia flashback of Ken (ya) yelling at his lawyer? I want this shit in technicolor. This should have been an absolutely complete and regular scene, and don’t say that we didn’t have space in this episode because we spent a good part of it looking at the blueprints of a rental property in South Carolina (more on that later). If I wanted to see the floor plans, I would go to Street Easy, thank you very much, this is Real Housewives and I want drama.
In any case, Marc Daly – who has not yet spent a night alone with his son – refuses to let Kenya take Brooklyn out of the country or appear in any promotional work for his hair products, which are equally tragic, I think. He is also asking for full custody, it seems just out of spite, and we know he is stingy because he just announced that he and Kenya split up again on the weekend of his 50th birthday. But all of this will have to wait because Kenya rented a private jet for her, LaToya, in Brooklyn, and her nanny to take them to Palms Island, South Carolina, for the girls’ trip. The other girls will travel via “sprinter”, which I thought was a different type of plane (I’m very stupid) until I looked and realized that it’s actually the type of long bus you take on class trips to the Metropolitan Museum of Art at school, where a child would inevitably be left behind. Sorry about that, Felix. During KenToya’s meeting, Drew calls and invites the couple to their dinner and KenToya blurts out that they are taking a private jet to South Carolina while Drew and the others take a bus. This is Drew’s first gossip core, ammunition to take back to the girls, and what she decides to do with it will speak volumes about her role on the show.
It’s time for Drew’s first dinner! In an astute move, considering LaToya’s rude comments about her previous wigs, Drew really brought that up with the wig set tonight, opting for a very big, very extravagant and glamorous 70s look from Diana Ross that basically goes to the floor. I’m not so obsessed with the combination of black bodice and pantsuit or purple eyeshadow, but that’s okay, because I’m glad she’s going crazy. Atlanta could use a Dorit and she could fill that space. Cynthia arrives at the event wearing a backpack and looking like she literally prefers to be anywhere else, which is very identifiable for me. For some reason, Drew has bartenders who are dressed in pirate valet costumes, although there are about four people invited to the event. This is not an Anna Shay Bling Empire party, we don’t need one waiter per person here. Cynthia sighs and says that her 250-person pandemic wedding will be all outside, while Kandi, Porsha and Kenya arrive without LaToya, giving us the first event with only our top 5 peach stands. Only the main cast, recurring guest stars and children under 5 can stay home tonight.
Porsha wastes no time going straight to the point and telling Drew that LaToya was making fun of his wig. Every recap I say this, but every recap must be said: Porsha Williams is one of the funniest housewives that has ever existed. Case in point: “I was hoping to come in and see its edges chewed. With eyelash glue and everything. I’ll tell her everything I know. I will sing like a dragon-god bird. ”Porsha’s god-god is right and has every right to sing like a canary. Drew, of course, defends his wig by saying he’s quarantined and that we’re doing the best we can, which is hard to argue. She also casts an extra shadow on LaToya, asking a producer what LaToya’s job is during a confessional. When the producer tells Drew that Latoya has a YouTube channel, Drew asks somberly “is this a job?” Although I generally agree with Drew’s sentiment, I must say that YouTubing is definitely a career and I am still blaming myself for going to college instead of jumping off completely and graduating in the art of “like and subscribe” at YouTube University because so I would have a net worth of approximately $ 1492403 dollars now.
After cocktail hour, the ladies continue to meet Drew at the dinner table, which is inexplicably indoors. At one point, Drew mentions that she can sing and is encouraged by the other women to invade her top 16 bars at the dinner table. Whenever someone sings at a dinner table, I’m instantly transported back to an incredibly painful YouTube video of Pia Mia singing “Hold On We Going Home” to Drake and Kanye at the Kardashians’ dinner table when she was vaguely ethnic friend of Kylie Jenner of the moment (that was pre-Jordyn Woods). It really haunts me today. Drew does a much better job than Pia Mia, choosing to sing “Amazing Grace” and Cynthia serves up all the energy of Kris Jenner “You are making wonderful candy” and films it on your cell phone at the dinner table, despite all the dinner is already being filmed by Bravo. We have a hilarious flashback of Porsha singing “Amazing Grace” very seriously in a meeting, and while Drew is definitely a better singer than Porsha, Porsha has a certain X factor that cannot be denied.
At dinner, Drew finally arrives to play and asks Kenya how she is going to South Carolina, despite knowing very well that she is on a private jet. Kenya pretends to be a little embarrassed about it while Kandi says, “You are so rich”, and Porsha swallows a shot while her eyes roll to the back of her head. Kenya says it doesn’t care if people know she’s taking a private jet, but it also clearly had no intention of telling the girls that it was taking a jet (which is environmentally reprehensible, by the way), so she’s lying about something. Make sense, Kenya. Drew’s first event ended up being a success and her pretending to have sex with Ralph in the end for the cameras was cute.
Next, we get a classic package setup, where we find out that it was actually Todd’s idea for the girls to get strippers in South Carolina for Cynthia’s bachelorette party, which we all know is the main source of the drama this season. I am perfectly fine to blame detained Todd for what happens in South Carolina, if need be. Elsewhere, we have clips of Kenya and LaToya fumbling with their luggage on the way to their private jet, which I think should make them look identifiable and down to earth and distract us from being environmentally irresponsible and morally reprehensible is taking a private jet, especially when you can literally just drive. Does not work. Catching a private jet in the middle of a pandemic is not the service you think KenToya is! What is a serve is the hazmat coverall Marlo wears for the sprinter. Moda x Covid Security reality. The rest of the women meet to catch the bus, and when Kandi and Porsha hug each other I couldn’t help but marvel at how far they have come since the sexual dungeon fiasco, and then the producers read my mind and gave us a montage. flashback of the ordeal. Someone must get a raise and someone must also BRING PHAEDRA PARKS SKI BACK ASAP.
On the bus, all the girls seem to be really getting along, despite the fact that there is no air and it is a million degrees. It’s amazing how much fun it can be when Kenya is pulled out of the equation. Canadian Tanya says she is excited (important to note later in the season), Kandi reveals that she and Todd make their guests to three sign NDAs (very smart), and Porsha claims that she did not have sex with Dennis, although he slept in the her house and I left her on the bus that morning (I suspect).
In South Carolina, Kenya takes care of assigning all rooms to people and tries to make it look somber, although it is a normal beach house and all rooms look perfectly pleasant. We ended the episode with the preparation of a fight between Porsha and Kenya, because Kenya brought Brooklyn and didn’t tell any of the other girls that they could bring their babies. Sigh us literally I only did it in Potomac real housewives with Ashley vs. Wendy and I didn’t find it particularly attractive the first time, so if we could get through this fight and get to the strippers, it would be great.