How to identify and help those struggling with suicide

By the rabbi Zalman Abraham

“Suicide is our most preventable form of death,” said the United States Surgeon General in 2001.

In the past few months, I have had the privilege of working with some incredible people on a youth suicide prevention initiative on behalf of The Wellness Institute, a new division of The Rohr Jewish Learning Institute (JLI).

Our goal is to save lives by training young leaders, educators, parents and shluchim to become mental health rescuers and suicide gatekeepers in their communities and to provide them with resilience-building Torah educational materials to engage youth groups in the discussion of this vital issue to help them understand their inner struggle and develop healthy self-esteem.

JLI works closely with leading experts on suicide prevention, including the American Association of Suicidology (AAS), Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services and S. Lukes Hospital Network.

In doing research for the program, I learned that the key to preventing suicide is more in the hands of us lay people than in the hands of professionals.

The average person is not a therapist or counselor licensed to offer treatment, but everyone can help save a person from suicide by being there for them, giving hope and helping them to get professional help.

People tend to believe that suicide is unstoppable, that intervening will only make things worse and that only experts should be involved. The truth is that if people get the help they need, they will probably never be suicidal again. Asking directly and compassionately about suicidal intent lowers your anxiety, opens up communication and lowers the risk of an impulsive act. This means that everyone can prevent suicide.

Here’s what you can do. Listen and pay attention to what the people around you are saying, what they are doing and what is happening in their lives. Take the following warning signs seriously:

Verbal clues:

“I wish I were dead.” “I’m tired of life, I just can’t go on.” “My family would be better off without me.” “You won’t have to worry about me soon.” —Any comment that suggests they are thinking of ending their lives.

Behavior clues:

Previous suicide attempts. Purchase a gun or stock up on pills. Concomitant depression, bad mood, hopelessness. Putting your personal affairs in order. Distributing valuable assets. Suddenly, becoming very religious or completely disinterested in religion. Substance abuse or relapse after a recovery period. Unexplained anger, aggression and irritability.

Situational clues:

Fired from a job or expelled from school. Forced to move. Missed an important relationship. Lost a spouse, child or friend (especially by suicide). Diagnosed with a serious or terminal illness. Sudden loss of freedom or fear of punishment. Expected loss of financial security. Loss of a beloved therapist, counselor, or teacher. Fear of becoming a burden to others.

Once you’ve identified a problem, here’s what you can do about it:

Step 1. If you suspect suicidal thoughts, ask them directly about it: “When people are as upset as you look, they sometimes wish to be dead. I’m wondering if you are feeling this way too? “” You look very unhappy, are you thinking about suicide? “” Are you thinking about killing yourself? ”

How you make them feel is the key to making them open to you. Be supportive. Don’t worry if it will plant ideas in your heads, it won’t. This is proven (Gould et al., 2005).

Step 2: Listen to the problem and give it your full attention. Remember that suicide is not the problem, it is just a “solution” to an apparently unsolvable problem. Do not be quick to judge. Offer hope anyway.

Step 3: persuade them to access help. Ask, “Will you go with me for help?” “Are you going to let me help you get help?” “Will you allow me to call the lifeline for you?”

People who are thinking about suicide may not be able to get professional help on their own. When a viable option of living is offered, people will almost certainly agree and find great relief in the hope it provides, so don’t hesitate to get involved and take the lead.

1. Provide guarantees. Tell them, “I want you to live.” “I’m on your side, let’s get over it together.”

2. Follow your instinct, if you think the person can act on your thoughts of suicide, call 911 or offer to take them to the nearest emergency room.

3. If you feel that you do not need immediate help, please provide contact information for the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or Crisis Text Line.

4. Involve other people. Ask them who else can help. Mashpia? Family? Friends? Rabbi?

5. Offer to work with anyone who will provide advice or treatment.

6. Follow up with a visit or a phone call to let the person know that you care about what happens to them.

Remember that hope is the key to preventing suicide. You can be the source of that hope, and in doing so, you can save a life.

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Free confidential crisis intervention via SMS message. Available 24 hours a day, every day in the USA, UK and Canada and can be reached by sending the HOME text message to 741741, 85258 or 686868, respectively.

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The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a suicide prevention network based in the United States that provides a free 24/7 hotline, available to anyone in a suicide crisis or emotional distress. 1800-274-talk (8255)

Rabbi Zalman Abraham is the director of marketing and strategic planning at JLI. This article was originally published in the Nshei Chabad Newsletter. It was reviewed by Dr. Sigrid Pechenik, PsyD, who served as director of suicide prevention for New York State from 2016-2020 and is a senior clinical consultant to The Wellness Institute at JLI.

VIDEO:
“Prevention of Suicide in Schools”, a presentation by Dr. Jill Harkavy-Friedman, Vice President of Research, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention through JLI